Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
The big day is coming up - the Pennsylvania primary. Pennsylvania is a crossover state where dogs can vote in human primaries and vice versa. Hillary's going to need a big turnout and her political life could be riding on the outcome.
I've been getting a lot of e-mails from dogs across the state. They've been reading my blog and now understand the importance of this human election. To the dog, they've been asking me what they can do to help her chances, especially given that most of them don't have access to computers so they can't do it on their own (that's another matter and another reason why all dogs need to vote for Hillary; she is strongly in favor of federal subsidies to increase canine access to computers). So I told them all, send me your appeals and I'll publish them. Celebrity endorsements, that's what Hillary needs. I heard Bruce Springsteen endorsed Obama, but BIG DEAL, look who I got endorsing Hillary, some pretty famous Pennsylvania dogs!!!
I wanted to post their endorsements unedited. They are writing in Dogish, so I'll translate.
Here is Mike Schmidt's Golden Retriever Homer:
Hillary ruff ruff ruff, ruff! Ruff ruff Hillary ruff. Ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff, ruff ruff ruff ruff, RUFFFFF HILLARY!!!
Translation: He's saying Hillary is the candidate for him!
Here is Larry Holmes boxer Jabber:
Tommy, woof woof woof. Hillary woof woof woof WOOOOOOOF! Woof woof woof, Hillary Hillary. Woof woof woof woof woof.
Translation: he's saying "Hillary's da bomb."
Here is Terasa Heinz Kerry's poodle Phee Phee:
Yip, yip yip yip Hillary, yip yip yip yip yip. Yip yip yip yip Hillary yip yip yip yip yip yip yip, yip yip. Tommy yip yip yip.
She says that Hillary's great and hs got to win or else she will go anorexic for a whole month.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
I've been getting a lot of e-mails from readers, asking me what famous human leader from history I most admire. Well that's an easy one . . . and rather topical at present . . . I like Martin Luther King. You see, he and I are a lot alike. We're both non-violent and like me, he was obsessed with rights, Martin with civil rights and I with the canine variety. Just like me, he probably got bullied a lot when he was a boy, and being no fool, he turned non-violent, get it? He didn't want to get beat up, but he was still able to get a lot of things done, like that lunch counter thing and the voting, you know. And like MLK, those issues are important to me, too. I have a dream that some day all dogs, be they big or little, caramel or white, floppy eared or straight up will be be able to sit at the lunch counters with their owners and also be able to vote. I like that Ghandi guy too. He was also non-violent and got things done. And I imagine he too was beat up a lot as a boy, but maybe he was asking for it, wearing that diaper all the time.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
My daddy forwarded an e-mail to me, which was sent to him by my grandma. She told him about the increasingly common practice of doggie Bark Mitzvah:
A NEW CRAZE AMONG SOME JEWS IS THE BARK MITZVAH FOR DOGS. . . BARK MITZVAHS HAVE BECOME A BUISNESS, WITH BOOKS, SONGS, AND PARTY PLANNERS.GUESTS BRING THEIR OWN DOGS, ALONG WITH PARENTS FOR THE BARK MITZVAH (FORGET THE FOUNTAIN PEN), WHO MAY WEAR A DOGGIE TALLIT AND SPECIAL YARMULKE TO FIT OVER HIS EARS, WHILE DELIGHTING IN A BONE-SHAPED MEAT DOGGY CAKE, AND A HAPPY BARK MITZVAH HAT. THE CANINE GUESTS GET A DOGGIE GOODIE BAG FILLED WITH MENORAH BISCUITS. . . .SOME FEEL THE CEREMONY CELEBRATES THEIR SPRIITUAL CONNECTION WITH THEIR PET.
I've been doing some research, so you can read about it for yourselves: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bark_mitzvah
I really want to do it and I will study hard. My family belongs to a Reform Synagogue, which no doubt they will be eager to embrace the new practice. Now let's see . . . Bar Mitzvah traditionally occurs at age 13 and there are 7 dog years on one people year, so . . . I should have my Bark Mitzvah just before my second people year, like late April of this year. So it's coming up pretty soon.
Now as to the guest list, I want my Happy Tails buddies there, and of course Ginny and Tucker, and Maddie and Pippa and Bartley. Killer? I don't think so. And any of you dogs who have bullied me (and you know who you are), don't be holdin your breadth waiting by the mail box.