The Pee Party & The New Palin

Sarah Palin has done a remarkable job remaking herself in the opinion of the dog world. You recall she once harbored a near-fetish for killing defenseless animals and she rightly earned a lot of criticism for it. But from what I've read, she has publically reformed. I understand she has joined a growing movement of dog lovers called 'The Pee Party.' The beneficent members of the Pee Party take dogs to great places to sniff, socialize, and relieve themselves. I wish her all the success in her new endeavours. And if she decides to run for human president in 2012, she can count on my vote. Who knows; we might start having Pee Parties right there on the White House lawn!

PETA Gets It Right - Westminster Exposed

The breedist festival otherwise known as the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show was subjected to a dose of reality when heroic members from the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) bravely demonstrated what they thought of the spectacle. I applaud the efforts of people like the human pictured to the left. (I know, I know, she used the ugly 'M' word, but she needs to shock people to their senses, so she can be forgiven.) And as best as I could tell, she was warmly received by the crowd at the show. No doubt, she made more than a few reconsider their values.

Not only is the dog 'show' a disgraceful display, but it is exploitative, as well. Just look at the ruff treatment this poor Neapolitan Mastiff is subjected to. His mouth is being forced open against his will, so the judge can see his teeth, as if good teeth are the measure of the worth of a dog.

Oh, by the way, Sadie, a hoity-toity, snotty Scotty 'won.' Big deal. They wouldn't even let the cockapoos compete. What are they afraid of?

Global Cooling: Settled Science

Scientific evidence continues to mount about the drastic climate change we've witnessed over last few years. Here I am, experiencing my fourth winter, and by my measurements, the surface temperatures here in McLean have decreased each year. It can’t just be random chance, can it? I’ve corresponded with a number of dogs who have peer-reviewed my findings and most concur; it IS getting colder. Oh sure, there are some deniers who claim my findings are faulty. Take Shelly, the cocker spaniel with whom I recently corresponded. She actually says it’s getting hotter. But what she neglects to account for is that her owners winter in Florida and she fails to adjust for latitude. I don’t think this global cooling should be taken lightly because it is frequently the vulnerable who suffer the most. Take me, for instance. With all this coldness and snowiness, the snow cakes to my fur (see my previous post) and I have to go in my crate to melt for extended periods of time.

Now that their plan for universal pet health care has fallen flat, I call on Obama to turn his attention to climate change and fix this global cooling problem.

The Snow: A Plea for Justice

Question: Is the snow my fault?

Answer: No

Question: Why must I be the one to suffer?

I refer, of course, to the snow that cakes to my fur. I can't help it. I need to go pee-pee and poo-poo, and I didn't ask for this snow. So why am to endure extended crate time, like I'm some kind of animal?

To my family, PLEASE rethink your policies.

My Family: Take Note

This has been bothering me for a while, wearing this dumb jacket, that is. I don't like it, it is uncomfortable and I get all itchy and hot with it on.

So I decided to some research on my own and my studies reveal that the doggie jacket is not a good idea. Look at this article from a reputable journalistic source:

http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/fashion/do_dogs_need_coats_auWyzQm3VYxqUsWjyhriOM

"wearing a coat can be very dangerous for a dog, especially if it’s a heavy coat . . . Just because we [humans] feel cold, it doesn’t mean our dogs do . . .”

I'd like to pose this question to my sister, who is such an advocate of the jacket: if it's so good for me, why do you see me running away when you pick it up to put on me?

Who are you calling 'boy'?

"BOY."

It's that despised word that so many of you humans use so casually when referring to us dogs. "Here BOY" or "Good BOY". If only you knew how it grates on us. It is the one complaint I've heard over and over again from countless dogs around the world. Let me tell you something: I'm not a boy; I'm a DOG and an ADULT dog, at that, and to refer to me as a 'boy' is demeaning. To my family and friends, you probably don't do it deliberately. You probably didn't know that it bothers me. But I'm saying it now; it does. So from now on, PLEASE, say "Here, TOMMY" or "Good DOG."

Thank you.

It's time to move on

All you dogs out there, don't forget: "To Err is Human but to Forgive Is Canine". I'm talking about Michael Vick. Before you start a major woof-fest, let me explain. I know what you're thinking, we've all heard it: "Tommy, how could you? You can't teach an old dog new tricks." (As an aside, I'm pushing four, now, but recently learned how to 'BEG'.) I'm not going to dwell on the man's crimes; nuff's been said on that subject. But rather let's look at what I think is an apt parallel.

Once upon a time, there was this real bad breedist man named George Wallace. He wasn't very tolerant and he wouldn't let the diverse breed dogs play with his hoity-toity pure breds. Here's a picture of him (he's the one in the middle) blocking a cockapoo from entering the Tuscaloosa campus of UPS. Well, that made some people incensed and someone went so far as to plug him full a holes and he ended up in a wheel chair and it made him realize it was all because he was a bad man so he decided that he was wrong and all dogs should be able to play together. In fact, this is what he said: "I was wrong. Those days are over and they ought to be over."

Well, I think its the same with Michael Vick. He's really changed and he's a nice man now. He's been nice to dogs and he tells kids how bad he used to be. And here is what he said on that TV show: "It's wrong, man, I don't know how many times I gotta tell, I gotta say it. I mean it was wrong. I feel tremendous hurt behind what happened. And, you know, I should’ve took the initiative to stop it all. And I didn't. And I feel so bad about that now. And I know that I didn't I didn't step up. I wasn't a leader."

And I watched his football game last week and they even let him play and he threw a pass to a man who ran all the way to the end and I didn't even get mad. In fact, I just rolled over and went back to sleep.

As controversial as it is for me to say it, I believe him and I say it's time to move on.

Obamas in Hawaii

Here they are in Hawaii, sans Bo. Obama tries to keep up appearances, looking happy and confident, all the while there is apparently great discord within the family.

My Kong Runneth Over

My big brother is home again Don't know when he has to go back to his farm, but for the time being, I've been luxuriating in all the attention. Sometimes it's great to be a cockapoo.

Obamas head to Hawaii . . .

What a lovely family. Only something seems to be missing. What could it be? Hmmm . . . Oh, I know, it's their poor dog, Bo. The Obamas have the world at their fingertips, could take their doggie anywhere. But choose to leave him behind. What kind of monsterous family has Bo been adopted into?

H1N1 -- Be sure you get vaccinated

This poor guy got the swine flu, cause he has a negligent owner who would not get him vaccinated.

http://wcbstv.com/local/dog.H1N1.flu.2.1385726.html

I recommend all you dogs out there to have yourselves get the vaccine. Now is no time to be taking a chance. At first my daddy didn't want to do it. He scoffed at the idea. But then I showed him this article and now he made an appointment with my vet. DON'T TAKE THIS LIGHTLY. We could be looking at a major can-demic.

New Favorite President?

Those who have been faithful to my blog know my partiality to that great non-violent, humanitarian president, Jimmy Carter. I even went out on a limb and declared him my favorite president. But recent events are forcing me to reconsider.

As I sniffed around the kitchen this past weekend, I stumbled across this photo of former president GHW Bush, with his sweet, white-haired mother. But lo and behold what the former veep/pres is holding. A cute little doggie. Does the doggie remind you of anyone? Huh? It looks like me (without the underbite). I think it's a cockapoo, maybe even one of my brothers or sisters from up there at the Autumn View Farm. I'm not positive and will send the photo off the the AFCA (American Federation of Canine Authentication). But if it comes back positive, it will give me a whole new perspective. Bush will have proven he is willing to embrace diversity in a way no previous president has. No more sickening porty dogs handed-down from stuck-up Kennedys. You'll see. Cockapoos and unabashed breed diversity will really come into their own.

I don't support the Masons

I had a very nice sight-peeing walk with my daddy last week. We walked all around Alexandria. Here you can see me in front of the famous Masonic Temple with a picture of me next this guy named George Washington. He's famous because he has a nice house on the Potomac River. Remember? I posted a photo of me last year in his back yard.



Maybe you didn't notice it before, but it's hard to miss it here. There is a remarkable resemblance between me and this Washington fellow, don't you think?








Well, my daddy and I wanted to walk up close to the place and maybe do a little peeing on it. But before we could get much closer, a mean man yelled at us to 'get off the property.' So this is as close as I could get, off to the side behind a fence. It's not right. Those Masons, whatever they are, are anti-dog and I don't recommend you join them.

Open Letter to My Big Brother

Dear Big Brother,

I am trying to be a serious blogger and infuse my blog with commentary on issues and events that are important or of interest to the canine and human communities. But some of your comments have been off-topic at best and inane at worst. Let me give you some examples:

On October 3, I posted an entry titled "Cockapoo Pride" in which I hightlighted a heart-warming tail of PC the cockapoo, who came away a big winner at a local dog show, infusing pride in the entire cockapoo community. Your comment was somewhat inappropriate, bordering on breedist: "i wouldn't go so far as to say that the cockapoo is an actual type of "breed." the so-called 'cockapoo' is a type of mut. not breed."

On September 8, I posted an entry titled "An Open Letter to My Mommy and Daddy", where I argued quite convincingly that it was discriminatory for them to eat lavish human foods, right in front of me, then offer up only dry kibbles in my dog dish. My motives were not selfish, rather this has been a persistent complaint from dogs world-wide. Your comment? Let me quote: "Tommy, you look deep in thought in this picture. i like it."

But maybe the worst, most egregious example occurred for my November 14 post, titled "Sure Miss My Mom", where my dear, sweet mother Cherokee revealed a terrible tail of mistreatment and suffering. Here, I quote your comment in full: "Tommy i can't see your fang in this picture."

Big brother, I have been told that you are relatively intellegent, by human standards at least. We do welcome your participation. But I wish you would try to stay on topic and offer my readers more than human drivel.

Sure miss my mom

I haven't seen nor heard from my mom in a long time. I got so lonesome for her that I put her picture up on my crate, so she can look down on my with those gentle, soothing eyes. I sure miss her (and even the whole gang back at the Autumn View Farm). If you know anything about her, how she's getting on, you'll be sure to let me know, won't you?

Climate Change Solution?

I'm as scared about the warming planet as the next dog. It's hot enough out there, especially with all my fur. Now, I'm willing to do my part such as: only eating locally produced steak,chicken, and hamburger, going bye-bye only in hybrid cars, pass wind less often, personally pick through the garbage to cut down on refuse, and go pee-pee in the dark in the back yard. But I think these New Zealand researchers, Bob and Brenda Vale, are taking things too far, like suggesting that we dogs are the problem and we should be eaten rather than fed. That's going too far. What do you think?

http://www.theweek.com/article/index/102445/Climate_change_Time_to_eat_Fido

Say it ain't so, Bo

It's a sad state in this country. It's not enough that the media suck up to our president, and all those sycophants let him win at basketball, now even his own dog is taking a dive, letting the president beat him at football. Like that skinny wimp could score on Bo, if Bo hadn't let him.

And look at Obama grinning and gloating at his football prowess, thinking he's so great. Doesn't anyone have the nerve to tell him the truth, speak truth to power, that Bo's letting him win?

And what's with the leash on Bo in his own back yard. Very cruel, Mr. President, very cruel.

By the way, did you notice that Bo is looking a little chunky? Too much veal, no doubt. Doesn't his family coordinate his treats, like mine does?

Happy Birthday, Bo

Bo Obama turned one year old recently and had a big party. I was invited but elected to not go, choosing to nap, instead. But from what I heard, it was a wild affair:

We had a really sweet celebration," admitted Mrs Obama. "He got a doghouse cake made out of veal stuff and he had his brother Cappy come over and we had party hats."

I do get a little jealous, though. Here Bo is getting veal, which I never even had. All I get is bologna and hamburger and chicken and turkey.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/barackobama/6425473/It-is-not-a-dogs-life-for-Americas-first-canine.html

AP poll: Pet owners willing to go mouth-to-snout to save dogs

Important new study. All you humans should learn how to help us dogs, who are some of the most vulnerable beings.

63% of dog owners . . . would be at least somewhat likely to perform CPR on their pet.

I know my mommy and daddy would do this for me. And of course they know I would do it for them too. I wonder about you. Would your owner know how?

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/pawprintpost/post/2009/10/ap-poll-pet-owners-willing-to-go-mouth-to-muzzle-to-save-dogs-cats/1

Dodger blues

Am I blue?

Am I blue?

Ain't these tears in my eyes tellin' you?

Am I blue?

You'd be too.

Cause my team lost it all, now they're through.

There was a time I was the waggy one,

Now I'm the sad and droopy one.

Was I gay?

Till today?

Now they're gone,

Say so long,

Am I blue?

Woof, Woof Dodgers

Woof Dodgers woof woof woof woof woof. Woof woof woof home run woof woof woof woof woof woof woof! Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof, poor Braves. Woof woof Dodgers woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof Manny woof woof woof woof woof.

Woof woof woof woof pitching woof. Woof woof woof woof Cardinals woof woof woof woof woof woof woof. Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof, woof woof woof woof.

Dodger Blue Mania

Can you feel it? I've waited a whole year for this, after last year's bitter, bitter defeat by those Phillies. All the dogs I know are super-enthused by the Dodgers, strutting and woofing all around their houses. Daddy even said he will let me stay up late to watch their games if they run long.

In honor of this great Dodgers season, I've changed my middle name to 'Manny.' So please, if you see me or write to me, call me 'Tommy M.'

Cockapoo Pride

Congratulations to PC, a cockapoo who came away as a big winner in Fanwood New Jersey.

A two-year old Cockapoo named PC won Best in Show at the annual dog show at The Chelsea At Fanwood. . . As the winner, PC earned an all-expense paid, one night stay at K-9 Resorts, an upscale pet borading business in Fanwood which features rooms instead of cages. Each room has a television and a bed.

It's about time we cockapoos got our recognition for being the high quality breed that we are. PC competed against several other breeds:

A total of 15 dogs were entered including Chihuahuas, Bijon Frises, a Greyhound, a Golden Retriever and various rescue dogs of [diverse] breeds.

I read that the Golden Retriever came in second. Second prize? Two nights at the K-9 Resorts.

www.mycentraljersey.com/article/20090920/GETPUBLISHED/909200324/Dogshowwinnerearnsabnightofluxury

WHAT? What's Going On Here?

Vick Set to Practice With Eagles

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/15/AR2009091503239.html

Why wasn't I informed of this? Surely this must be a joke, right? Those humans won't let him come back and play football, will they?

Can someone please clarify?

UD

Mommy and Daddy took me for a tour of the University of Delaware this past weekend. I liked it, though it is a little far. The new university president is making a concerted effort to improve diversity. Their latest numbers show a woeful lack of canine enrollment. I met with an admissions advisor who was impressed with my background. On the basis of my degree from UPS-FC, she offered me a free ride at Delaware for all four years, without even seeing my transcript. It's a good offer. And UD is reputed to have a young, but improving Canine Studies department. Their most popular offerings are in Napping and Fetching. I probably don't need much instruction in the former, but would benefit immensely from a series of classes in the latter. Well, I don't know, I don't want to commit too soon. I'll keep you posted.

Another Open Letter to Mommy and Daddy

I've had it and won't take it anymore. You have a very unhappy cockapoo, I'm sorry to say. Every day I observe a parade of delicious food march from the refrigerator to the table and watch as you gorge yourselves. I sit quietly at your sides, staring intently, often giving a brief, quick tail wag to ensure my wishes are clearly understood. Then finally comes my dinner. And what do I get? Kibbles, kibbles, and more kibbles. Does the steak ever land in my bowl? the turkey? the chicken? cheese? or how about the Honey Nut Cherrios? or waffles? No, no, no, no, no and no! Well, I've been Mr. Nice-a-poo for too long. I know my rights and I want some of that people food too.

I'm Feeling Better, Thank You

I've almost fully recovered and only slightly worse for the wear. As some of you know, I was sick late last week. I only wanted to rest, but for some inexplicable reason, daddy took me to that place with the other dogs and those sadistic people. I usually see the sadistic lady, but this time I saw a sadistic man. I tried to hide under the chair, but daddy picked up the chair, leaving me totally exposed for our latter day Dr. Mangele. He picked my up ruffly and then he poked and prodded and stuck his finger up my tush. Then he handed me over to his evil assistant, who stuck me with needles until I felt one of my well-chewed chew toys. Finally we left. How can daddy do that to me when I'm feeling so sickly? But then I started feeling better later in the day and even did my patented 'twirl', counter-clockwise, no less, for a piece of bologna. So you know I must have been feeling pretty good by then.

Back from my absence

Hey everyone. Wondering why I hadn't posted for so long? For some unexplained reason, mommy and daddy left me with a nice lady for a long time. Every time I tried to get on the computer to do some blogging, she scolded me and and said "no, no, doggies don't use computers" (technically not true, because we all know there is at least one dog who uses computers). But otherwise, she was real nice and let me sleep on the bed and all. She was home and played with me and took me for walks and was thoughtful enough to give me chicken-stuffed kongs for a treat each night (what a conicidence, just like home). Once she took me to the dog park, but I was pretty scared and she didn't take me back there. There were other dogs in her apartment to play with. There was the big golden-doodle, Bozo. He was a little too big to play ruff with, but we had some long, intense conversations. Then he left and a little doggie named Powder Puff came to stay with us. She was more my size and we played ruff sometimes. All in all, I had a good time and I was on my best behavior and had no accidents! And I overheard the nice lady tell my daddy that I was one of the best dogs who ever stayed with her.

Purrfectly pawsible explanation

Interesting story from the Sun Sentinel:

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/breakingnews/sfl-cat-downloads-porn-bn080709,0,6415792.story

But why won't the police believe his explanation?

MARTIN COUNTY - Martin County Sheriff's detectives didn't buy it when a 48-year-old Jensen Beach man claimed that his cat was downloading child pornography on his computer.Keith R. Griffin, of the 3600 block of Northeast Jeannette Drive, was charged Wednesday with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after detectives found more than 1,000 child pornographic images on his computer, according to a news release.Griffin told detectives he would leave his computer on and his cat would jump on the keyboard.When he returned, there would be strange material downloaded, the release states.Griffin was being held in the Martin County Jail in lieu of $250,000 bail.

Taco Bell Dog -- We Hardly Knew Ya

Gidget, the Taco Bell dog, one of my all-time favorite celebrities was euthanized, this week. She was 15 years young.

http://www.philly.com/philly/living/pets/20090722_ap_tacobelladstargidgetthechihuahuadiesat15.html

She was fiesty right up to the end, reportedly "otherwise in good health up to the day of her death, eating well and playing with her favorite squeaky toys ".

Gidget always held a special place in my heart, because like me, she "wasn't show quality . . . had an undershot jaw and huge ears".

Check out my new toys

My sister is gone so daddy said I can have her toys. You can see me here. I'm kinda "chomping at the bit" to get at 'em, but daddy is making me 'stay'. But then we played some tug-a-war.

Fireman kills pets to save on boarding!

Yep, you read that right: http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/local_news/stories/2009/06/25/fire_dog.ART_ART_06-25-09_A1_DSE9JB8.html?sid=101

A Columbus firefighter admits that he took his two dogs to the basement, tied them up and blasted them with a rifle so he and a girlfriend could vacation without paying to board the animals.

If I didn't read it with my own two eyes, I wouldn't have believed it. Common mythology has it that firemen and dogs are best buds, like the photo you see here. Well, apparently it's all for publicity and the firemen are bad, dog-hating people, even worse the president.

On a personal note, my mommy and daddy have gone away a few times, but never killed me to save on boarding. I get to go to that nice lady's house who walks me, and feeds me, and let's me sleep on her bed with my good friend Mini.

Hide and Go Sniff

That's the name of my new favorite game that my daddy invented. He hides a yummy treat, like turkey or bologna, and I have to go sniff it out. And when I find it, I get to eat it.

Sounds pretty easy, you say? Well go try it and then tell me. My daddy makes it real hard. He makes me wait in the dining room with the door closed and he goes into the kitchen and hides the treat in some pretty obscure places, like behind a leg of the bench, or near my toy basket, or clear over by the shoes. But no matter how well it's hidden, I don't give up and keep sniffing until I find it. So far, I've never been beaten at the game.

One time I bent the rules a little bit. While he was doing the hiding, I went around the other way, through the foyer into the kitchen. He yelled at me good and disqualified me for the rest of the day. So I'm gonna play by the rules now.

Thanks to My Grandma

My grandma made this food for me and it's delicious. She calls her secret recipe "Grammy's Pot Pie" and I gobble it up as soon as the dish hits the floor. These are the best kibbles I ever ate. I hope she keeps making it and sending up our way.

My Favorite President

I wish I had a slice of bologna every time I've been asked "Tommy, who is your favorite president?" So I'll take this opportunity to once and for put an end to this burning question. It should come as no big surprise to the astute reader that my farovite president is Jimmy Carter. After all, we are a lot alike. 1) We both spent time down on the farm in our youths. 2) We are both considered to be very smart -- by some estimates, Carter had the highest IQ of any president and as for me, well, with all due humility, how many dogs do you know who blog? 3) We are both big believers in rights, Jimmy for the human variety, I for the canine variety. You can even see from the picture here that Jimmy is against Apartheid. He thinks all people should be friends and live happily together and who can be against that? and 4) Perhaps most remarkably, both Jimmy and I are non-violent.

I'd like to address this last comparison at some length, if I may. It's well known that when I go to the dog park, I try to keep a low profile and stay away from the aggressive and mean dogs. If they want to play ruff and I can't get away, then I'll roll over. Well, it was no different with Jimmy. When as a boy he was on the playground, the bullies would come over and push him around and put gum in his hair. But Jimmy wouldn't fight. Instead he would cite some school resolution against gum or whatever and when that would produce riotous laugher more taunts, he would run away vowing to take his complaints to the principal. Pretty smart strategy I'd say. And when Jimmy became president, he stayed true to himself. When the Ayatolla metaphorically lifted his leg and pee'd right on Jimmy's pant leg (well, in actuality, the Ayatolla took some hostages), Jimmy didn't want to fight and tried to reason with the Ayatolla. When that didn't work, Jimmy went crying to the UN. I was a little disappointed to learn that Jimmy was finally goaded into a little fight, but of course his heart wasn't in it and it didn't go so well for the US. Finally Jimmy returned to form and vowed to go to his room (well actually the Rose Garden) and not come out until the Ayatolla released the hostages. And let me point out, Jimmy's strategy worked! After he was voted out of office, the Ayatolla agreed to return the hostages and who was the first to greet their return? Why none other than my favorite president.

So there you have it. I wonder who your favorite president is. Please feel free to comment.