My Rite of Passage

My daddy forwarded an e-mail to me, which was sent to him by my grandma. She told him about the increasingly common practice of doggie Bark Mitzvah:

A NEW CRAZE AMONG SOME JEWS IS THE BARK MITZVAH FOR DOGS. . . BARK MITZVAHS HAVE BECOME A BUISNESS, WITH BOOKS, SONGS, AND PARTY PLANNERS.GUESTS BRING THEIR OWN DOGS, ALONG WITH PARENTS FOR THE BARK MITZVAH (FORGET THE FOUNTAIN PEN), WHO MAY WEAR A DOGGIE TALLIT AND SPECIAL YARMULKE TO FIT OVER HIS EARS, WHILE DELIGHTING IN A BONE-SHAPED MEAT DOGGY CAKE, AND A HAPPY BARK MITZVAH HAT. THE CANINE GUESTS GET A DOGGIE GOODIE BAG FILLED WITH MENORAH BISCUITS. . . .SOME FEEL THE CEREMONY CELEBRATES THEIR SPRIITUAL CONNECTION WITH THEIR PET.

I've been doing some research, so you can read about it for yourselves: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bark_mitzvah

I really want to do it and I will study hard. My family belongs to a Reform Synagogue, which no doubt they will be eager to embrace the new practice. Now let's see . . . Bar Mitzvah traditionally occurs at age 13 and there are 7 dog years on one people year, so . . . I should have my Bark Mitzvah just before my second people year, like late April of this year. So it's coming up pretty soon.

Now as to the guest list, I want my Happy Tails buddies there, and of course Ginny and Tucker, and Maddie and Pippa and Bartley. Killer? I don't think so. And any of you dogs who have bullied me (and you know who you are), don't be holdin your breadth waiting by the mail box.