The big day is coming up - the Pennsylvania primary. Pennsylvania is a crossover state where dogs can vote in human primaries and vice versa. Hillary's going to need a big turnout and her political life could be riding on the outcome.
I've been getting a lot of e-mails from dogs across the state. They've been reading my blog and now understand the importance of this human election. To the dog, they've been asking me what they can do to help her chances, especially given that most of them don't have access to computers so they can't do it on their own (that's another matter and another reason why all dogs need to vote for Hillary; she is strongly in favor of federal subsidies to increase canine access to computers). So I told them all, send me your appeals and I'll publish them. Celebrity endorsements, that's what Hillary needs. I heard Bruce Springsteen endorsed Obama, but BIG DEAL, look who I got endorsing Hillary, some pretty famous Pennsylvania dogs!!!
I wanted to post their endorsements unedited. They are writing in Dogish, so I'll translate.
Here is Mike Schmidt's Golden Retriever Homer:Hillary ruff ruff ruff, ruff! Ruff ruff Hillary ruff. Ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff, ruff ruff ruff ruff, RUFFFFF HILLARY!!!
Translation: He's saying Hillary is the candidate for him!
Here is Larry Holmes boxer Jabber:Tommy, woof woof woof. Hillary woof woof woof WOOOOOOOF! Woof woof woof, Hillary Hillary. Woof woof woof woof woof.
Translation: he's saying "Hillary's da bomb."
Here is Terasa Heinz Kerry's poodle Phee Phee:
Yip, yip yip yip Hillary, yip yip yip yip yip. Yip yip yip yip Hillary yip yip yip yip yip yip yip, yip yip. Tommy yip yip yip.
She says that Hillary's great and hs got to win or else she will go anorexic for a whole month.
2 comments:
YOU`RE BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE, TOMMY. SHE`S NO GOOD! PICK ANY HUMAN OFF THE STREET OF McCLEAN, AND I`M SURE THEY WOULD BE MORE WORTHY OF THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTEE.
RUFF, RUFF, RUFF, WOOF, WOOF, WOOF, AND YIPEE AI AY!!!
Little Tommy,
You're a good pooch and all, and fairly smart, but I think you're a little misinformed. Where did you get the idea that Hilary is promising computers for canines, and that dogs and humans can vote in each others' elections? You need to check your sources little guy, because you might be a little dissapointed when elections roll around and all of your doggy buddies get turned down at the polls.
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