Newt Gingrich for President

 

Many dogs have been waiting, some even patiently, for me to throw my weight behind one of the candidates running for president.  While some have believed I've been inattentive to the enormous issues facing our community, I can assure you I've been carefully following the candidates, the debates, and the issues.  We all know that institutional bigotry prevents me and other of my species from running, but that does not negate the enormous challenges facing our country.

It is only after long and careful deliberation that I announce my endorsement of Newt Gingrich.  He has publicly stated that puppies will play a big role in his campaign moving forward:

Gingrich to Campaign With Pets 

The campaign said today that it will soon launch a “Pets With Newt”  site aimed at Gingrich’s love for animals . . .

[H]e told ABC News today he and his wife Callista want a dog in the White House, and it’s a friendly disagreement between the couple over what kind and size of dog. Callista wants a small dog and Newt wants a large dog . . .

“When I was a child I had a cocker spaniel and Doberman pincher and German Sheppard. . . ” Gingrich said.

[It's hard not to like a man like that.  I wonder if his cocker spaniel was related to my mom, Cherokee?]

Newt, along with all the other candidates, has yet to make his positions known on Universal Pet Health Care, Affordable Doggie Day Care, and Canine Voting Rights.  But he is obviously a man of character and deserves our support for lack of a true doggist candidate.

STRIKE: SUCCESS!

 

My Nation-wide Canine Day of Inaction was a big success.  Dogs all across the country joined me to call for Universal Pet Health Care, Affordable Doggie Day Care, and distribution of Bologna Stamps, all to be paid for by a big tax on the Fat Cats.

Yesterday, from the time my daddy left until the time my mommy came home, I exercised complete inaction, not helping humans in any way, not even posting to my blog, which I understand many humans derive great benefit from.  I got many e-mails from around the country that guard dogs refused to guard, attack dogs refused to attack, watch dogs refused to watch, sniffer dogs refused to sniff, retriever dogs refused to retrieve and ALL dogs refused to wag their tails.  The poor humans were near helpless without us.  A special nod goes out to Bo Obama who refused to give face licks to Sasha and Malia.  That will sure get the president's attention.

Just one quick example of the plight of us poor dogs.  You know, I'd love to go to doggie day care.  It would be great for my cognitive development and make me a much more productive canine citizen.  I begged my daddy, but he told me it was too expensive; that one day of doggie day care costs more than two weeks of even high-end dog food like Grammy's Pot Pie.  Where is our government?  Why aren't they helping us with subsidies?  Well, our fight is just starting.  If things don't happen soon, we will be having Nation-wide Canine Days of Inaction more and more often.

STRIKE!

 

 

I couldn’t help but notice this heartwarming tail of puppies doing what comes naturally, helping humans, in this case, law students.

Cuddlypuppies help law students de-stress before exams

“For high-strung law students, dogs . . . can also provide a soothing presence . . . At George Mason’s law school, which has more than 700 students, dozens took a break Thursday from their immersion in contracts, torts, criminal law and the like and gathered for more than two hours in the school’s atrium to play with the puppies.”

And we love helping our human friends and we do it in so many ways.  That’s why it is so inconceivable to me how our cries for justice go unheeded by the human leaders.  Where is there progress on the Universal Pet Health Care bill?  Or Affordable Doggie Day Care?  Or Bologna Stamps for dogs whose owners cannot afford to buy them tasty human snacks?  We’ve been demanding these measures for too long now and have barely made a RUFF in protest, all the while continuing to work. 

Since our woofing hasn’t helped, we will need to step up methods.  That’s why I am calling for a nation-wide Canine Day of Inaction.  On December 7, there will be no cuddling with law students, no therapy dogs in hospital, no fetching, no bomb sniffing, no drug sniffing, no guiding the blind, and definitely NO TAIL WAGS!  We'll just how well the human population prospers without us.