I got a bath and a clipping yesterday. The lady came and hustled me into her torture van. No big deal, right? I'm a big dog now, and I've learned to endure. For all the fuss and bother, I'm guessing she did a good job. My whole family says how cute I look with the little extra fur left on my tail and a not insubstantial mustache. All well and good, no news here, right? Wrong! Look at my report card.
Some of it is OK. Like this: "anal glands moderately full today and healthy." I feel good. Phewww, that's some load off my tush.
And this: "Tommy's coat, skin, and ears all appear healthy today . . ."
But here's the deal. Can you see my grade? B+, ughhh. And do you see why? "I could use more brushing and combing" it says. And whose fault is that? Not mine; it is really my mommy and daddy who are to blame. I worked real hard and was very good. But this stays on my permanent record. What if I decide to go onto graduate school? What are my chances with this ugly blot? It isn't fair.
do you brush daddy's teeth, comb mommy's hair? no. they do their own. so why is it their fault if you are suchj a slackerr and don't do your own? you can type and read. how can you not comb and bruch? i bet bo does his own and probably uses the toilet and flushes all by himself as well.
ReplyDeleteTOMMY,
ReplyDeleteDON`T LET THAT REPORT CARD 'RUFF' YOUR FEATHERS/FUR. IT`S ONLY ELEMENTARY STUFF. IF LATER ON IN LIFE YOU WANT TO GET INTO HIGHER LEARNING, ALL YOUR EARLY GRADES WILL BE ERASED. TRUST YOUR ANONYMOUS CORRESPONDENT TO KNOW.
YOU`RE A GOOD DOG. AND YOUR REPUTATION WILL CARRY YOU FAR.
EAT YOUR KIBBLES.
And I even wipe afterward and wash all four paws.
ReplyDeletelittle cockapoo,
ReplyDeleteI think you are partly to blame for this low grade. Don't forget, you willingy choose to romp around in mud and snow, crawl into bushes to get extra sniffs, and who knows what else you do that messes up your fur. And then you expect you mom and dad to brush and comb you, to clean up the mess that YOU purposely made, for your own enjoyment, not considering how hard your family works to take care of you. I think you have start taking responsibility for yourself, and this means, for instance, to think twice before you crawl into a bush for that extra sniff, which in the process will scruff up your fur.
Ask yourself: Do you really have the worst personal hygiene in the family? Does your brother protest too much?
ReplyDeleteAsk yourself: Do you really have the worst personal hygiene in the family? Does your brother protest too much?
ReplyDeletewhat are you trying to say, anonymous?
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