Poor Manny

It's baseball season, it's heating up, the Dodgers are now doing well, and Manny is doing well. The sheer excitement of it all has my tail wagging constantly. But what a bad break, I just read that Manny is hurt and needs a long rest:

Manny Ramirez was out of the Los Angeles Dodgers’ starting lineup on Thursday night for the second straight game because of sore little toe on his left foot.

That must hurt real bad, that sore little toe. I know my toes get real tender when I walk on gravel, so I know what it is like. I hope his little toe heals fast, because the Dodgers sure need him.

Science

Whoa, check it out. It's a piece of 'petrified wood'. I learned all about it when I went site peeing last weekend. Here I am in front of the world famous Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, gaping at this tree turned into rock. Daddy said it was 'petrified'. I looked up the word and it says it means 'to stun or paralyze with terror.' Makes you wonder how that could happen to a tree? Well here's what I figured out. This tree was minding its own business right in front of the museum. And then the men hauled those dinosaurs inside and the trees became petrified, right there where they stood. Who can blame the trees; I woulda been petrified by the dinosaurs, too.

Science just fascinates me. It explains how things really work. Now if I could only figure out how that refrigerator door works . . .

Opening Day

It happens every spring, opening day of the sight peeing season. My mommy and daddy took me out sight peeing for the first time of the season this past weekend. It was great to be out there sniffing and relieving myself at all these great spots.

I was a little scared at this place; those guys behind me didn’t look too friendly and daddy made me turn my back to them. But upon reflection, though, I think they were just statues.

But it was a great day. The whole time, I was whistling that old tune to myself. . . “Take me out to go sight peeing, take me out with the crowd. Buy me some hot dogs and more hot dogs; I don’t care if I never get back . . .”

Animal Cruelty

The Dodgers, my favorite team, were in town this past weekend. I put on my Dodgers shirt, ruffed and pranced around the house, made it pretty clear I wanted to go to see them. Then my daddy snuck out of the house, and only later learned HE WENT TO THE GAME WITHOUT ME. I don't think that was right. He should have taken me. What do you think he should do to make it up to me?

Global Warming: I'm Convinced

WOW, is it ever scorching HOT here! I can't stop panting even after lapping up some water. But that's what's so strange. Here I was less than two months ago declaring the case for global cooling to be settled science, and now, SMACK, such a sharp reversal of evidence. Is it just me, or has anyone noticed how it has been getting progressively and alarmingly hotter since February? What's going to happen to those Arctic ice caps at this rate? And it always hits the most vulnerable the hardest. This global warming is bad news for us cockapoos with all our fur. But I will persevere and keep on blogging.

US Census: a Symbol of Canine Oppression

I'm just blown away by the 2010 US Census. I posted the first page of the form to the left and if you enlarge the image, you will see the number of times the words 'person' and 'people' are mentioned in yellow (approximately 16 times). I also highlighted the words 'dog' and 'canine' in bright red (exactly 0 times). You read that right; humans 16, dogs 0. We are not counted at all, not even three fifths of a human. There is some irony, if one is able to find humor in overt neglect. You are instructed to "Count all people . . . who live and sleep here most of the time." I mean, come on, who sleeps in the house more than I do?

I implore all you humans out there to record your dogs into the form so we are counted too. I know my daddy counted me.

My latest report card

I got a bath and a clipping yesterday. The lady came and hustled me into her torture van. No big deal, right? I'm a big dog now, and I've learned to endure. For all the fuss and bother, I'm guessing she did a good job. My whole family says how cute I look with the little extra fur left on my tail and a not insubstantial mustache. All well and good, no news here, right? Wrong! Look at my report card.

Some of it is OK. Like this: "anal glands moderately full today and healthy." I feel good. Phewww, that's some load off my tush.

And this: "Tommy's coat, skin, and ears all appear healthy today . . ."

But here's the deal. Can you see my grade? B+, ughhh. And do you see why? "I could use more brushing and combing" it says. And whose fault is that? Not mine; it is really my mommy and daddy who are to blame. I worked real hard and was very good. But this stays on my permanent record. What if I decide to go onto graduate school? What are my chances with this ugly blot? It isn't fair.

The Pee Party & The New Palin

Sarah Palin has done a remarkable job remaking herself in the opinion of the dog world. You recall she once harbored a near-fetish for killing defenseless animals and she rightly earned a lot of criticism for it. But from what I've read, she has publically reformed. I understand she has joined a growing movement of dog lovers called 'The Pee Party.' The beneficent members of the Pee Party take dogs to great places to sniff, socialize, and relieve themselves. I wish her all the success in her new endeavours. And if she decides to run for human president in 2012, she can count on my vote. Who knows; we might start having Pee Parties right there on the White House lawn!

PETA Gets It Right - Westminster Exposed

The breedist festival otherwise known as the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show was subjected to a dose of reality when heroic members from the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) bravely demonstrated what they thought of the spectacle. I applaud the efforts of people like the human pictured to the left. (I know, I know, she used the ugly 'M' word, but she needs to shock people to their senses, so she can be forgiven.) And as best as I could tell, she was warmly received by the crowd at the show. No doubt, she made more than a few reconsider their values.

Not only is the dog 'show' a disgraceful display, but it is exploitative, as well. Just look at the ruff treatment this poor Neapolitan Mastiff is subjected to. His mouth is being forced open against his will, so the judge can see his teeth, as if good teeth are the measure of the worth of a dog.

Oh, by the way, Sadie, a hoity-toity, snotty Scotty 'won.' Big deal. They wouldn't even let the cockapoos compete. What are they afraid of?

Global Cooling: Settled Science

Scientific evidence continues to mount about the drastic climate change we've witnessed over last few years. Here I am, experiencing my fourth winter, and by my measurements, the surface temperatures here in McLean have decreased each year. It can’t just be random chance, can it? I’ve corresponded with a number of dogs who have peer-reviewed my findings and most concur; it IS getting colder. Oh sure, there are some deniers who claim my findings are faulty. Take Shelly, the cocker spaniel with whom I recently corresponded. She actually says it’s getting hotter. But what she neglects to account for is that her owners winter in Florida and she fails to adjust for latitude. I don’t think this global cooling should be taken lightly because it is frequently the vulnerable who suffer the most. Take me, for instance. With all this coldness and snowiness, the snow cakes to my fur (see my previous post) and I have to go in my crate to melt for extended periods of time.

Now that their plan for universal pet health care has fallen flat, I call on Obama to turn his attention to climate change and fix this global cooling problem.

The Snow: A Plea for Justice

Question: Is the snow my fault?

Answer: No

Question: Why must I be the one to suffer?

I refer, of course, to the snow that cakes to my fur. I can't help it. I need to go pee-pee and poo-poo, and I didn't ask for this snow. So why am to endure extended crate time, like I'm some kind of animal?

To my family, PLEASE rethink your policies.

My Family: Take Note

This has been bothering me for a while, wearing this dumb jacket, that is. I don't like it, it is uncomfortable and I get all itchy and hot with it on.

So I decided to some research on my own and my studies reveal that the doggie jacket is not a good idea. Look at this article from a reputable journalistic source:

http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/fashion/do_dogs_need_coats_auWyzQm3VYxqUsWjyhriOM

"wearing a coat can be very dangerous for a dog, especially if it’s a heavy coat . . . Just because we [humans] feel cold, it doesn’t mean our dogs do . . .”

I'd like to pose this question to my sister, who is such an advocate of the jacket: if it's so good for me, why do you see me running away when you pick it up to put on me?

Who are you calling 'boy'?

"BOY."

It's that despised word that so many of you humans use so casually when referring to us dogs. "Here BOY" or "Good BOY". If only you knew how it grates on us. It is the one complaint I've heard over and over again from countless dogs around the world. Let me tell you something: I'm not a boy; I'm a DOG and an ADULT dog, at that, and to refer to me as a 'boy' is demeaning. To my family and friends, you probably don't do it deliberately. You probably didn't know that it bothers me. But I'm saying it now; it does. So from now on, PLEASE, say "Here, TOMMY" or "Good DOG."

Thank you.

It's time to move on

All you dogs out there, don't forget: "To Err is Human but to Forgive Is Canine". I'm talking about Michael Vick. Before you start a major woof-fest, let me explain. I know what you're thinking, we've all heard it: "Tommy, how could you? You can't teach an old dog new tricks." (As an aside, I'm pushing four, now, but recently learned how to 'BEG'.) I'm not going to dwell on the man's crimes; nuff's been said on that subject. But rather let's look at what I think is an apt parallel.

Once upon a time, there was this real bad breedist man named George Wallace. He wasn't very tolerant and he wouldn't let the diverse breed dogs play with his hoity-toity pure breds. Here's a picture of him (he's the one in the middle) blocking a cockapoo from entering the Tuscaloosa campus of UPS. Well, that made some people incensed and someone went so far as to plug him full a holes and he ended up in a wheel chair and it made him realize it was all because he was a bad man so he decided that he was wrong and all dogs should be able to play together. In fact, this is what he said: "I was wrong. Those days are over and they ought to be over."

Well, I think its the same with Michael Vick. He's really changed and he's a nice man now. He's been nice to dogs and he tells kids how bad he used to be. And here is what he said on that TV show: "It's wrong, man, I don't know how many times I gotta tell, I gotta say it. I mean it was wrong. I feel tremendous hurt behind what happened. And, you know, I should’ve took the initiative to stop it all. And I didn't. And I feel so bad about that now. And I know that I didn't I didn't step up. I wasn't a leader."

And I watched his football game last week and they even let him play and he threw a pass to a man who ran all the way to the end and I didn't even get mad. In fact, I just rolled over and went back to sleep.

As controversial as it is for me to say it, I believe him and I say it's time to move on.

Obamas in Hawaii

Here they are in Hawaii, sans Bo. Obama tries to keep up appearances, looking happy and confident, all the while there is apparently great discord within the family.

My Kong Runneth Over

My big brother is home again Don't know when he has to go back to his farm, but for the time being, I've been luxuriating in all the attention. Sometimes it's great to be a cockapoo.

Obamas head to Hawaii . . .

What a lovely family. Only something seems to be missing. What could it be? Hmmm . . . Oh, I know, it's their poor dog, Bo. The Obamas have the world at their fingertips, could take their doggie anywhere. But choose to leave him behind. What kind of monsterous family has Bo been adopted into?

H1N1 -- Be sure you get vaccinated

This poor guy got the swine flu, cause he has a negligent owner who would not get him vaccinated.

http://wcbstv.com/local/dog.H1N1.flu.2.1385726.html

I recommend all you dogs out there to have yourselves get the vaccine. Now is no time to be taking a chance. At first my daddy didn't want to do it. He scoffed at the idea. But then I showed him this article and now he made an appointment with my vet. DON'T TAKE THIS LIGHTLY. We could be looking at a major can-demic.

New Favorite President?

Those who have been faithful to my blog know my partiality to that great non-violent, humanitarian president, Jimmy Carter. I even went out on a limb and declared him my favorite president. But recent events are forcing me to reconsider.

As I sniffed around the kitchen this past weekend, I stumbled across this photo of former president GHW Bush, with his sweet, white-haired mother. But lo and behold what the former veep/pres is holding. A cute little doggie. Does the doggie remind you of anyone? Huh? It looks like me (without the underbite). I think it's a cockapoo, maybe even one of my brothers or sisters from up there at the Autumn View Farm. I'm not positive and will send the photo off the the AFCA (American Federation of Canine Authentication). But if it comes back positive, it will give me a whole new perspective. Bush will have proven he is willing to embrace diversity in a way no previous president has. No more sickening porty dogs handed-down from stuck-up Kennedys. You'll see. Cockapoos and unabashed breed diversity will really come into their own.

I don't support the Masons

I had a very nice sight-peeing walk with my daddy last week. We walked all around Alexandria. Here you can see me in front of the famous Masonic Temple with a picture of me next this guy named George Washington. He's famous because he has a nice house on the Potomac River. Remember? I posted a photo of me last year in his back yard.



Maybe you didn't notice it before, but it's hard to miss it here. There is a remarkable resemblance between me and this Washington fellow, don't you think?








Well, my daddy and I wanted to walk up close to the place and maybe do a little peeing on it. But before we could get much closer, a mean man yelled at us to 'get off the property.' So this is as close as I could get, off to the side behind a fence. It's not right. Those Masons, whatever they are, are anti-dog and I don't recommend you join them.

Open Letter to My Big Brother

Dear Big Brother,

I am trying to be a serious blogger and infuse my blog with commentary on issues and events that are important or of interest to the canine and human communities. But some of your comments have been off-topic at best and inane at worst. Let me give you some examples:

On October 3, I posted an entry titled "Cockapoo Pride" in which I hightlighted a heart-warming tail of PC the cockapoo, who came away a big winner at a local dog show, infusing pride in the entire cockapoo community. Your comment was somewhat inappropriate, bordering on breedist: "i wouldn't go so far as to say that the cockapoo is an actual type of "breed." the so-called 'cockapoo' is a type of mut. not breed."

On September 8, I posted an entry titled "An Open Letter to My Mommy and Daddy", where I argued quite convincingly that it was discriminatory for them to eat lavish human foods, right in front of me, then offer up only dry kibbles in my dog dish. My motives were not selfish, rather this has been a persistent complaint from dogs world-wide. Your comment? Let me quote: "Tommy, you look deep in thought in this picture. i like it."

But maybe the worst, most egregious example occurred for my November 14 post, titled "Sure Miss My Mom", where my dear, sweet mother Cherokee revealed a terrible tail of mistreatment and suffering. Here, I quote your comment in full: "Tommy i can't see your fang in this picture."

Big brother, I have been told that you are relatively intellegent, by human standards at least. We do welcome your participation. But I wish you would try to stay on topic and offer my readers more than human drivel.

Sure miss my mom

I haven't seen nor heard from my mom in a long time. I got so lonesome for her that I put her picture up on my crate, so she can look down on my with those gentle, soothing eyes. I sure miss her (and even the whole gang back at the Autumn View Farm). If you know anything about her, how she's getting on, you'll be sure to let me know, won't you?

Climate Change Solution?

I'm as scared about the warming planet as the next dog. It's hot enough out there, especially with all my fur. Now, I'm willing to do my part such as: only eating locally produced steak,chicken, and hamburger, going bye-bye only in hybrid cars, pass wind less often, personally pick through the garbage to cut down on refuse, and go pee-pee in the dark in the back yard. But I think these New Zealand researchers, Bob and Brenda Vale, are taking things too far, like suggesting that we dogs are the problem and we should be eaten rather than fed. That's going too far. What do you think?

http://www.theweek.com/article/index/102445/Climate_change_Time_to_eat_Fido

Say it ain't so, Bo

It's a sad state in this country. It's not enough that the media suck up to our president, and all those sycophants let him win at basketball, now even his own dog is taking a dive, letting the president beat him at football. Like that skinny wimp could score on Bo, if Bo hadn't let him.

And look at Obama grinning and gloating at his football prowess, thinking he's so great. Doesn't anyone have the nerve to tell him the truth, speak truth to power, that Bo's letting him win?

And what's with the leash on Bo in his own back yard. Very cruel, Mr. President, very cruel.

By the way, did you notice that Bo is looking a little chunky? Too much veal, no doubt. Doesn't his family coordinate his treats, like mine does?

Happy Birthday, Bo

Bo Obama turned one year old recently and had a big party. I was invited but elected to not go, choosing to nap, instead. But from what I heard, it was a wild affair:

We had a really sweet celebration," admitted Mrs Obama. "He got a doghouse cake made out of veal stuff and he had his brother Cappy come over and we had party hats."

I do get a little jealous, though. Here Bo is getting veal, which I never even had. All I get is bologna and hamburger and chicken and turkey.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/barackobama/6425473/It-is-not-a-dogs-life-for-Americas-first-canine.html

AP poll: Pet owners willing to go mouth-to-snout to save dogs

Important new study. All you humans should learn how to help us dogs, who are some of the most vulnerable beings.

63% of dog owners . . . would be at least somewhat likely to perform CPR on their pet.

I know my mommy and daddy would do this for me. And of course they know I would do it for them too. I wonder about you. Would your owner know how?

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/pawprintpost/post/2009/10/ap-poll-pet-owners-willing-to-go-mouth-to-muzzle-to-save-dogs-cats/1

Dodger blues

Am I blue?

Am I blue?

Ain't these tears in my eyes tellin' you?

Am I blue?

You'd be too.

Cause my team lost it all, now they're through.

There was a time I was the waggy one,

Now I'm the sad and droopy one.

Was I gay?

Till today?

Now they're gone,

Say so long,

Am I blue?

Woof, Woof Dodgers

Woof Dodgers woof woof woof woof woof. Woof woof woof home run woof woof woof woof woof woof woof! Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof, poor Braves. Woof woof Dodgers woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof Manny woof woof woof woof woof.

Woof woof woof woof pitching woof. Woof woof woof woof Cardinals woof woof woof woof woof woof woof. Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof, woof woof woof woof.

Dodger Blue Mania

Can you feel it? I've waited a whole year for this, after last year's bitter, bitter defeat by those Phillies. All the dogs I know are super-enthused by the Dodgers, strutting and woofing all around their houses. Daddy even said he will let me stay up late to watch their games if they run long.

In honor of this great Dodgers season, I've changed my middle name to 'Manny.' So please, if you see me or write to me, call me 'Tommy M.'

Cockapoo Pride

Congratulations to PC, a cockapoo who came away as a big winner in Fanwood New Jersey.

A two-year old Cockapoo named PC won Best in Show at the annual dog show at The Chelsea At Fanwood. . . As the winner, PC earned an all-expense paid, one night stay at K-9 Resorts, an upscale pet borading business in Fanwood which features rooms instead of cages. Each room has a television and a bed.

It's about time we cockapoos got our recognition for being the high quality breed that we are. PC competed against several other breeds:

A total of 15 dogs were entered including Chihuahuas, Bijon Frises, a Greyhound, a Golden Retriever and various rescue dogs of [diverse] breeds.

I read that the Golden Retriever came in second. Second prize? Two nights at the K-9 Resorts.

www.mycentraljersey.com/article/20090920/GETPUBLISHED/909200324/Dogshowwinnerearnsabnightofluxury

WHAT? What's Going On Here?

Vick Set to Practice With Eagles

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/09/15/AR2009091503239.html

Why wasn't I informed of this? Surely this must be a joke, right? Those humans won't let him come back and play football, will they?

Can someone please clarify?

UD

Mommy and Daddy took me for a tour of the University of Delaware this past weekend. I liked it, though it is a little far. The new university president is making a concerted effort to improve diversity. Their latest numbers show a woeful lack of canine enrollment. I met with an admissions advisor who was impressed with my background. On the basis of my degree from UPS-FC, she offered me a free ride at Delaware for all four years, without even seeing my transcript. It's a good offer. And UD is reputed to have a young, but improving Canine Studies department. Their most popular offerings are in Napping and Fetching. I probably don't need much instruction in the former, but would benefit immensely from a series of classes in the latter. Well, I don't know, I don't want to commit too soon. I'll keep you posted.

Another Open Letter to Mommy and Daddy

I've had it and won't take it anymore. You have a very unhappy cockapoo, I'm sorry to say. Every day I observe a parade of delicious food march from the refrigerator to the table and watch as you gorge yourselves. I sit quietly at your sides, staring intently, often giving a brief, quick tail wag to ensure my wishes are clearly understood. Then finally comes my dinner. And what do I get? Kibbles, kibbles, and more kibbles. Does the steak ever land in my bowl? the turkey? the chicken? cheese? or how about the Honey Nut Cherrios? or waffles? No, no, no, no, no and no! Well, I've been Mr. Nice-a-poo for too long. I know my rights and I want some of that people food too.

I'm Feeling Better, Thank You

I've almost fully recovered and only slightly worse for the wear. As some of you know, I was sick late last week. I only wanted to rest, but for some inexplicable reason, daddy took me to that place with the other dogs and those sadistic people. I usually see the sadistic lady, but this time I saw a sadistic man. I tried to hide under the chair, but daddy picked up the chair, leaving me totally exposed for our latter day Dr. Mangele. He picked my up ruffly and then he poked and prodded and stuck his finger up my tush. Then he handed me over to his evil assistant, who stuck me with needles until I felt one of my well-chewed chew toys. Finally we left. How can daddy do that to me when I'm feeling so sickly? But then I started feeling better later in the day and even did my patented 'twirl', counter-clockwise, no less, for a piece of bologna. So you know I must have been feeling pretty good by then.

Back from my absence

Hey everyone. Wondering why I hadn't posted for so long? For some unexplained reason, mommy and daddy left me with a nice lady for a long time. Every time I tried to get on the computer to do some blogging, she scolded me and and said "no, no, doggies don't use computers" (technically not true, because we all know there is at least one dog who uses computers). But otherwise, she was real nice and let me sleep on the bed and all. She was home and played with me and took me for walks and was thoughtful enough to give me chicken-stuffed kongs for a treat each night (what a conicidence, just like home). Once she took me to the dog park, but I was pretty scared and she didn't take me back there. There were other dogs in her apartment to play with. There was the big golden-doodle, Bozo. He was a little too big to play ruff with, but we had some long, intense conversations. Then he left and a little doggie named Powder Puff came to stay with us. She was more my size and we played ruff sometimes. All in all, I had a good time and I was on my best behavior and had no accidents! And I overheard the nice lady tell my daddy that I was one of the best dogs who ever stayed with her.