Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Pee Party & The New Palin

Sarah Palin has done a remarkable job remaking herself in the opinion of the dog world. You recall she once harbored a near-fetish for killing defenseless animals and she rightly earned a lot of criticism for it. But from what I've read, she has publically reformed. I understand she has joined a growing movement of dog lovers called 'The Pee Party.' The beneficent members of the Pee Party take dogs to great places to sniff, socialize, and relieve themselves. I wish her all the success in her new endeavours. And if she decides to run for human president in 2012, she can count on my vote. Who knows; we might start having Pee Parties right there on the White House lawn!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

PETA Gets It Right - Westminster Exposed

The breedist festival otherwise known as the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show was subjected to a dose of reality when heroic members from the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) bravely demonstrated what they thought of the spectacle. I applaud the efforts of people like the human pictured to the left. (I know, I know, she used the ugly 'M' word, but she needs to shock people to their senses, so she can be forgiven.) And as best as I could tell, she was warmly received by the crowd at the show. No doubt, she made more than a few reconsider their values.

Not only is the dog 'show' a disgraceful display, but it is exploitative, as well. Just look at the ruff treatment this poor Neapolitan Mastiff is subjected to. His mouth is being forced open against his will, so the judge can see his teeth, as if good teeth are the measure of the worth of a dog.

Oh, by the way, Sadie, a hoity-toity, snotty Scotty 'won.' Big deal. They wouldn't even let the cockapoos compete. What are they afraid of?

Friday, February 12, 2010

Global Cooling: Settled Science

Scientific evidence continues to mount about the drastic climate change we've witnessed over last few years. Here I am, experiencing my fourth winter, and by my measurements, the surface temperatures here in McLean have decreased each year. It can’t just be random chance, can it? I’ve corresponded with a number of dogs who have peer-reviewed my findings and most concur; it IS getting colder. Oh sure, there are some deniers who claim my findings are faulty. Take Shelly, the cocker spaniel with whom I recently corresponded. She actually says it’s getting hotter. But what she neglects to account for is that her owners winter in Florida and she fails to adjust for latitude. I don’t think this global cooling should be taken lightly because it is frequently the vulnerable who suffer the most. Take me, for instance. With all this coldness and snowiness, the snow cakes to my fur (see my previous post) and I have to go in my crate to melt for extended periods of time.

Now that their plan for universal pet health care has fallen flat, I call on Obama to turn his attention to climate change and fix this global cooling problem.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Snow: A Plea for Justice

Question: Is the snow my fault?

Answer: No

Question: Why must I be the one to suffer?

I refer, of course, to the snow that cakes to my fur. I can't help it. I need to go pee-pee and poo-poo, and I didn't ask for this snow. So why am to endure extended crate time, like I'm some kind of animal?

To my family, PLEASE rethink your policies.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

My Family: Take Note

This has been bothering me for a while, wearing this dumb jacket, that is. I don't like it, it is uncomfortable and I get all itchy and hot with it on.

So I decided to some research on my own and my studies reveal that the doggie jacket is not a good idea. Look at this article from a reputable journalistic source:


"wearing a coat can be very dangerous for a dog, especially if it’s a heavy coat . . . Just because we [humans] feel cold, it doesn’t mean our dogs do . . .”

I'd like to pose this question to my sister, who is such an advocate of the jacket: if it's so good for me, why do you see me running away when you pick it up to put on me?