Monday, December 27, 2010

President Obama, Dog Hater in Chief

"The president said, 'So many people who serve time never get a fair second chance.' He was ... passionate about it."

link: Obama happy Vick's back

So, he was so passionate about this, huh? But he didn't seem very passionate about those poor animals. It's well known among my kind that Obama hates us. He didn't want to get Bo and only did because he had to and it's a good thing Bo has those girls cause if not, no one would pay attention to him. Here's just more proof. Obama is so compassionate for 'poor' Michael Vick, but he failed to mention the victims.

Look, I forgave Michael Vick, and I took some heat in the canine blogosphere as a result (see this post: Tommy forgives Vick). But this Obama is so quick to forgive and doesn't mention and obviously doesn't give a hoot about the dogs.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Bo Obama sets a good example

Bo goes to Hawaii and volunteers to be quarantined just like he's a regular dog. He's not asking for special treatment just cause he's the famous First Dog, and all.

Bo Gets Quarantined

Even if you're the dog of the president of the United States, you still need to follow the rules. As the Obama family slowly trickles into Hawaii for the holidays . . ., the first dog, who is making his first trip to the island, is subject to the state's quarantine program.

Bo's setting a good example, demonstrating that we are still a nation of laws, not of dogs.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Terrorist on the loose

This is no joke. This fox is running around my neighborhood. It's stressful enough going to the dog park. But now this; look at how mean and hungry and vicious he looks. I don't want to go out in my back yard; I only want to go out on walks so I can be sure I'm protected.

Friday, November 19, 2010


My daddy forwarded me this link, who got it from my brother. I was simply horrified what they did to Target (on the right), who is such a good dog and a hero.

Afgan Hero Dog Is Euthanized by Mistake in U.S.

Here's the key passage.

Target . . .escaped from her yard. She was captured last week and euthanized by mistake [emphasis added - ed.]

This is like a scene right out of the human "Schindler's List" movie. Maybe even you humans are starting to grasp why Canine Rights are so urgent. If 'euthanizing' wasn't an accepted practice on us dogs, maybe we could call it what it really is: MURDER. Instead this is posted in the newspapers like some kind of 'human' interest story. Would you humans react differently to a headline that read:

"Baby Euthanized by Mistake?"

Monday, October 25, 2010

Oh no, not again

I haven't posted much recently. Things have been quite good with me. But then I looked at the calendar and realized it's that time of year again . . . Halloween . . . when our owners dress us up and make us look ridiculous. That's why I'm voting for the Pee Party, that group of dog advocates, who vow to end this cruel practice. For those of you who have not been paying attention to the humiliations done to us, just scan some of the pictures of what happens to some of my friends this time of year.

Monday, September 13, 2010


My daddy sent me this cautionary tail from the Washington Post, about a dog named Parrot who was gunned down in the street.

Police fatally shoot dog at Adams Morgan festival

On the one hand, Parrot certainly is a mean looking dog. And he did bite a poor poodle, maybe even a relative of mine. Just the same, you gotta wonder if the poodle wasn't asking for it. If I was approaching a dog like Parrot while out on my walk, I'd pull daddy to the other side of the street for sure. Why wasn't the poodle more careful?

But on the other hand, the cop seemed to be gunning for a canine (could of just as easily been me). Where's the justice? In this town, dogs aren't allowed to serve on juries. When has an all-human jury ever convicted a cop of violence against a member of the canine community, regardless of the evidence?

This is why I'm so big for canine rights. And that's why I'm supporting the Pee Party.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Big Pee Party Rally in Washington

Here I am at this big Pee Party rally in Washington. All the big Pee Partiers were there, out supporting us dogs. And there were a lot of us dogs out there. The Pee Party has been criticized as being a breedist organization and to be sure, there were mostly only mono-breeds at the rally. But I was treated real well, even though I'm diverse. There was no name calling or anything like that, and a lot of the people pat me on the head and said I was a good boy. I tried to get up close to see Sarah Palin because I like her now that she is a Pee Partier and supports us animals. I think I caught her eye, cause when she looked my way, she gave me the 'Canine Power' raised fist salute.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Let's Go White Sox!

Big news. Manny's got a new team, and so do I. He looks great, doesn't he? Like "dude, get outta my way and let me hit a home run already".

I don't know why I wasted my time with those Dodgers. I know I'm supposedly named after some old-time fat manager. But I mean, come on, look how bad they treated Manny. Anyhow, there have been a lot of real good Tommys on the White Sox, like Tommy John, Tommy Agee, Tommy Paciorek.

This is good. The White Sox are doing a whole lot better than those Dodgers and got a real chance. it's a good change for Manny and me.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Absolutely Shocking

WARNING: for all you young puppies may not want to view this video; it is extremely graphic depicting canine suffering and yelping.

The utter depravity of this girl. If anyone can identify her, please let me know. I would like to alert the lawful authorities.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Seven Dead in Chicago - Never Forget

My mommy emailed me all about this. American Airlines, that capitalist behemoth, either through malace or gross negligance, caused the death of seven of our finest. Seven puppies -- dead in Chicago. All for the worship of the almighty profits!

I posted pictures of the seven martyrs to corporate greed, seven little puppies who will never know a Kong toy, who'll never again be scratched behind the ears, who'll never graduate from puppy school. Let's all be sure to light a candle tonight for each one . . . there's

Frankie and there's . . .

Fishbone, and there's . . .

Hannibal and there's . . .

McDuff (hey, he looks like me) and there's . . .

Patches and there's . . .

Willy Boy and last but not least there's . . .

Dolly . . . the're all gone.

Here's a little song in rememberence:
Tin airplanes and Obama's coming
They're finally on their own
This summer I hear the drumming
Seven dead in Chicago.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Baseball and I are parting ways . . .

For now, that is.

Dodger stadium used to look look like this. Real exciting. Look how much they love Manny. Then Manny had some tough breaks and he's been hurt a lot.

So what do the Dodgers do? They put up some dumb advertisement for this old-time John Hancock, and even talk about kicking Manny off the team. Hard to believe after all Manny has done for them, but you can read it here:

Blog about Manny

What ever happened to old-fashioned cockapoo-type loyalty? The Dodgers could learn a lot from little guy like me.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Hey . . .

wait a minute. That's my money! How do I get it back?

Pet waste removal worker finds $58 in dog poop

ST. LOUIS – This is why your mother says to wash your hands after handling money: A St. Louis worker found $58 — packed in dog poop. Steve Wilson works for DoodyCalls Pet Waste Removal. On a recent call, he noticed money sticking out from doggie doo. Wilson wasn't sure what to do, but eventually pulled out the bills, sanitized them, placed them in a plastic zip-locked bag and returned them to the customer. It turned out to be $58.

The company said the money was torn, but the serial numbers were identifiable, which means the bills could be returned to a bank and replaced with new money.

The Association of Professional Animal Waste Specialists says Wilson is the first person in his profession to find and report money in dog poop.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Why We Sniff Each Other?

I get asked this all time by humans. This human tries to put it into scientific terms:

But he falls into the trap of over-analyzing and stereotyping, like this:

He sees things from the inside out, and in so doing he's developed a very simple theory of "behavior as energy," sort of the E = MC2 of animal consciousness if you will, except it would probably be written as C = ME2, where C is consciousness, M is momentum, and E is emotional energy.

See what I mean? Here, let me spell it out in simple terms: Dogs like to sniff other dogs' butts because they sniff good. Try it for yourself and you'll know.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Poor Manny

It's baseball season, it's heating up, the Dodgers are now doing well, and Manny is doing well. The sheer excitement of it all has my tail wagging constantly. But what a bad break, I just read that Manny is hurt and needs a long rest:

Manny Ramirez was out of the Los Angeles Dodgers’ starting lineup on Thursday night for the second straight game because of sore little toe on his left foot.

That must hurt real bad, that sore little toe. I know my toes get real tender when I walk on gravel, so I know what it is like. I hope his little toe heals fast, because the Dodgers sure need him.

Friday, May 7, 2010


Whoa, check it out. It's a piece of 'petrified wood'. I learned all about it when I went site peeing last weekend. Here I am in front of the world famous Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, gaping at this tree turned into rock. Daddy said it was 'petrified'. I looked up the word and it says it means 'to stun or paralyze with terror.' Makes you wonder how that could happen to a tree? Well here's what I figured out. This tree was minding its own business right in front of the museum. And then the men hauled those dinosaurs inside and the trees became petrified, right there where they stood. Who can blame the trees; I woulda been petrified by the dinosaurs, too.

Science just fascinates me. It explains how things really work. Now if I could only figure out how that refrigerator door works . . .

Monday, May 3, 2010

Opening Day

It happens every spring, opening day of the sight peeing season. My mommy and daddy took me out sight peeing for the first time of the season this past weekend. It was great to be out there sniffing and relieving myself at all these great spots.

I was a little scared at this place; those guys behind me didn’t look too friendly and daddy made me turn my back to them. But upon reflection, though, I think they were just statues.

But it was a great day. The whole time, I was whistling that old tune to myself. . . “Take me out to go sight peeing, take me out with the crowd. Buy me some hot dogs and more hot dogs; I don’t care if I never get back . . .”

Monday, April 26, 2010

Animal Cruelty

The Dodgers, my favorite team, were in town this past weekend. I put on my Dodgers shirt, ruffed and pranced around the house, made it pretty clear I wanted to go to see them. Then my daddy snuck out of the house, and only later learned HE WENT TO THE GAME WITHOUT ME. I don't think that was right. He should have taken me. What do you think he should do to make it up to me?

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Global Warming: I'm Convinced

WOW, is it ever scorching HOT here! I can't stop panting even after lapping up some water. But that's what's so strange. Here I was less than two months ago declaring the case for global cooling to be settled science, and now, SMACK, such a sharp reversal of evidence. Is it just me, or has anyone noticed how it has been getting progressively and alarmingly hotter since February? What's going to happen to those Arctic ice caps at this rate? And it always hits the most vulnerable the hardest. This global warming is bad news for us cockapoos with all our fur. But I will persevere and keep on blogging.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

US Census: a Symbol of Canine Oppression

I'm just blown away by the 2010 US Census. I posted the first page of the form to the left and if you enlarge the image, you will see the number of times the words 'person' and 'people' are mentioned in yellow (approximately 16 times). I also highlighted the words 'dog' and 'canine' in bright red (exactly 0 times). You read that right; humans 16, dogs 0. We are not counted at all, not even three fifths of a human. There is some irony, if one is able to find humor in overt neglect. You are instructed to "Count all people . . . who live and sleep here most of the time." I mean, come on, who sleeps in the house more than I do?

I implore all you humans out there to record your dogs into the form so we are counted too. I know my daddy counted me.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

My latest report card

I got a bath and a clipping yesterday. The lady came and hustled me into her torture van. No big deal, right? I'm a big dog now, and I've learned to endure. For all the fuss and bother, I'm guessing she did a good job. My whole family says how cute I look with the little extra fur left on my tail and a not insubstantial mustache. All well and good, no news here, right? Wrong! Look at my report card.

Some of it is OK. Like this: "anal glands moderately full today and healthy." I feel good. Phewww, that's some load off my tush.

And this: "Tommy's coat, skin, and ears all appear healthy today . . ."

But here's the deal. Can you see my grade? B+, ughhh. And do you see why? "I could use more brushing and combing" it says. And whose fault is that? Not mine; it is really my mommy and daddy who are to blame. I worked real hard and was very good. But this stays on my permanent record. What if I decide to go onto graduate school? What are my chances with this ugly blot? It isn't fair.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Pee Party & The New Palin

Sarah Palin has done a remarkable job remaking herself in the opinion of the dog world. You recall she once harbored a near-fetish for killing defenseless animals and she rightly earned a lot of criticism for it. But from what I've read, she has publically reformed. I understand she has joined a growing movement of dog lovers called 'The Pee Party.' The beneficent members of the Pee Party take dogs to great places to sniff, socialize, and relieve themselves. I wish her all the success in her new endeavours. And if she decides to run for human president in 2012, she can count on my vote. Who knows; we might start having Pee Parties right there on the White House lawn!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

PETA Gets It Right - Westminster Exposed

The breedist festival otherwise known as the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show was subjected to a dose of reality when heroic members from the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) bravely demonstrated what they thought of the spectacle. I applaud the efforts of people like the human pictured to the left. (I know, I know, she used the ugly 'M' word, but she needs to shock people to their senses, so she can be forgiven.) And as best as I could tell, she was warmly received by the crowd at the show. No doubt, she made more than a few reconsider their values.

Not only is the dog 'show' a disgraceful display, but it is exploitative, as well. Just look at the ruff treatment this poor Neapolitan Mastiff is subjected to. His mouth is being forced open against his will, so the judge can see his teeth, as if good teeth are the measure of the worth of a dog.

Oh, by the way, Sadie, a hoity-toity, snotty Scotty 'won.' Big deal. They wouldn't even let the cockapoos compete. What are they afraid of?

Friday, February 12, 2010

Global Cooling: Settled Science

Scientific evidence continues to mount about the drastic climate change we've witnessed over last few years. Here I am, experiencing my fourth winter, and by my measurements, the surface temperatures here in McLean have decreased each year. It can’t just be random chance, can it? I’ve corresponded with a number of dogs who have peer-reviewed my findings and most concur; it IS getting colder. Oh sure, there are some deniers who claim my findings are faulty. Take Shelly, the cocker spaniel with whom I recently corresponded. She actually says it’s getting hotter. But what she neglects to account for is that her owners winter in Florida and she fails to adjust for latitude. I don’t think this global cooling should be taken lightly because it is frequently the vulnerable who suffer the most. Take me, for instance. With all this coldness and snowiness, the snow cakes to my fur (see my previous post) and I have to go in my crate to melt for extended periods of time.

Now that their plan for universal pet health care has fallen flat, I call on Obama to turn his attention to climate change and fix this global cooling problem.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Snow: A Plea for Justice

Question: Is the snow my fault?

Answer: No

Question: Why must I be the one to suffer?

I refer, of course, to the snow that cakes to my fur. I can't help it. I need to go pee-pee and poo-poo, and I didn't ask for this snow. So why am to endure extended crate time, like I'm some kind of animal?

To my family, PLEASE rethink your policies.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

My Family: Take Note

This has been bothering me for a while, wearing this dumb jacket, that is. I don't like it, it is uncomfortable and I get all itchy and hot with it on.

So I decided to some research on my own and my studies reveal that the doggie jacket is not a good idea. Look at this article from a reputable journalistic source:

"wearing a coat can be very dangerous for a dog, especially if it’s a heavy coat . . . Just because we [humans] feel cold, it doesn’t mean our dogs do . . .”

I'd like to pose this question to my sister, who is such an advocate of the jacket: if it's so good for me, why do you see me running away when you pick it up to put on me?

Friday, January 22, 2010

Who are you calling 'boy'?


It's that despised word that so many of you humans use so casually when referring to us dogs. "Here BOY" or "Good BOY". If only you knew how it grates on us. It is the one complaint I've heard over and over again from countless dogs around the world. Let me tell you something: I'm not a boy; I'm a DOG and an ADULT dog, at that, and to refer to me as a 'boy' is demeaning. To my family and friends, you probably don't do it deliberately. You probably didn't know that it bothers me. But I'm saying it now; it does. So from now on, PLEASE, say "Here, TOMMY" or "Good DOG."

Thank you.

Friday, January 15, 2010

It's time to move on

All you dogs out there, don't forget: "To Err is Human but to Forgive Is Canine". I'm talking about Michael Vick. Before you start a major woof-fest, let me explain. I know what you're thinking, we've all heard it: "Tommy, how could you? You can't teach an old dog new tricks." (As an aside, I'm pushing four, now, but recently learned how to 'BEG'.) I'm not going to dwell on the man's crimes; nuff's been said on that subject. But rather let's look at what I think is an apt parallel.

Once upon a time, there was this real bad breedist man named George Wallace. He wasn't very tolerant and he wouldn't let the diverse breed dogs play with his hoity-toity pure breds. Here's a picture of him (he's the one in the middle) blocking a cockapoo from entering the Tuscaloosa campus of UPS. Well, that made some people incensed and someone went so far as to plug him full a holes and he ended up in a wheel chair and it made him realize it was all because he was a bad man so he decided that he was wrong and all dogs should be able to play together. In fact, this is what he said: "I was wrong. Those days are over and they ought to be over."

Well, I think its the same with Michael Vick. He's really changed and he's a nice man now. He's been nice to dogs and he tells kids how bad he used to be. And here is what he said on that TV show: "It's wrong, man, I don't know how many times I gotta tell, I gotta say it. I mean it was wrong. I feel tremendous hurt behind what happened. And, you know, I should’ve took the initiative to stop it all. And I didn't. And I feel so bad about that now. And I know that I didn't I didn't step up. I wasn't a leader."

And I watched his football game last week and they even let him play and he threw a pass to a man who ran all the way to the end and I didn't even get mad. In fact, I just rolled over and went back to sleep.

As controversial as it is for me to say it, I believe him and I say it's time to move on.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Obamas in Hawaii

Here they are in Hawaii, sans Bo. Obama tries to keep up appearances, looking happy and confident, all the while there is apparently great discord within the family.

My Kong Runneth Over

My big brother is home again Don't know when he has to go back to his farm, but for the time being, I've been luxuriating in all the attention. Sometimes it's great to be a cockapoo.