Friday, March 22, 2013

Obamacare for Whom?

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.  Don't say I didn't tell you so way back when:
Now there's this new study out that proves Obamacare is making things worse for us dogs, at the worst possible time, when vet care is already so expensive:
That's right, Obamacare is making it good for you people but bad for us dogs.  It's like a huge Robin-Hood-in-reverse, stealing from poor (dogs) and giving to the rich (people).

Monday, March 18, 2013

Why I'm Boycotting the NCAAs

I can't support any tournament that would permit teams that use such offensive depictions of canines, depicting us as brutal, savage beasts.  Until Gonzaga changes its mascot or is barred from competition, I will not watch nor follow anything having to do with NCAA basketball.  I hope you will join me in my protest.  Let's hit them where it hurts.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Guns Don’t Kill People . . .

. . . Dogs kill people.  Well, not for lack of trying at least.  There’s a big story all over the internet: 
“35-year-old Gregory Dale Lanier was driving with his pet pooch on Saturday when the dog kicked a .380 pistol that was on the truck's floor. . . The gun had discharged, firing a single round into Lanier's leg. . . No attempted murder charges are expected for Fido; police have ruled the shooting accidental.”

I was quite intrigued by this story and with a little follow-up learned a little that the hapless police don’t know.  The dog in question is Paladin (no not ‘Fido’ as the reporter mistakenly identified him, and like all dogs, he resents being referred to as a ‘pooch’).  Paladin had been repeatedly abused by Mr. Lanier.  Finally, Paladin had enough and saw his opportunity.  He was clever and the police never suspected a cute doggie of a malicious attack.  So now I ask you, if guns are outlawed, as some of our leaders propose, what could Paladin have done?

Monday, February 25, 2013

Oh Canada!


I was pawing through the newspapers today when I stumbled across this fascinating article:
You see, this baseball guy plays up there in Canada (I looked at the map, and it’s way up there, even up higher than Mt. Airy where I was born).  But because Canada doesn’t allow certain breeds of dog, he won’t move his family there, he only stays for a while, when he plays baseball.  Frequent readers of my blog probably think you know where this is going, that I’m feeling all sorry for this baseball player and think Canada’s a bad place because he can’t bring his beloved doggie, Slater. 
But no.  Read the article closely.  You see, this guy has a ferocious pit bull, which has been outlawed in parts of Canada.  You see, Canada is like a safe haven for cockapoos like me.  I wouldn’t have to be as worried about being beaten up at the dog park.  I’m all for this.  In fact, I would even extend it to other breeds of mean assult dogs.  Like take the German Shepard, for instance.  I was at the vet a few days ago, sniffing around, saying ‘hi’ to all the people and dogs, when a German Shepard growled and snapped at me.  Good thing he was on the leash or else I would have even needed the vet even more.  So I’d go ahead and ban these dogs from Canada too, and throw in the rotweiller and the basenji too (you know, like ‘Thing 1’ and ‘Thing 2’).

Friday, January 11, 2013

What's Wrong with This Picture?

It's a recent photo of the president with his most senior trusted advisors.  Notice anything missing?  Well, you don't exactly need three guesses to see . . . NOT A SINGLE DOG PRESENT!  If the president needs help finding suitable canines for key positions, all he has to do is ask me and I will send him binders full of dogs.  No wonder Canine-Americans are so routinely oppressed, denied our most basic rights.  We need a Cabinet that looks like America.