Friday, December 23, 2011

Newt Gingrich for President

Many dogs have been waiting, some even patiently, for me to throw my weight behind one of the candidates running for president.  While some have believed I've been inattentive to the enormous issues facing our community, I can assure you I've been carefully following the candidates, the debates, and the issues.  We all know that institutional bigotry prevents me and other of my species from running, but that does not negate the enormous challenges facing our country.

It is only after long and careful deliberation that I announce my endorsement of Newt Gingrich.  He has publicly stated that puppies will play a big role in his campaign moving forward:

The campaign said today that it will soon launch a “Pets With Newt”  site aimed at Gingrich’s love for animals . . .
[H]e told ABC News today he and his wife Callista want a dog in the White House, and it’s a friendly disagreement between the couple over what kind and size of dog. Callista wants a small dog and Newt wants a large dog . . .
“When I was a child I had a cocker spaniel and Doberman pincher and German Sheppard. . . ” Gingrich said.
[It's hard not to like a man like that.  I wonder if his cocker spaniel was related to my mom, Cherokee?]

Newt, along with all the other candidates, has yet to make his positions known on Universal Pet Health Care, Affordable Doggie Day Care, and Canine Voting Rights.  But he is obviously a man of character and deserves our support for lack of a true doggist candidate.

Thursday, December 8, 2011


My Nation-wide Canine Day of Inaction was a big success.  Dogs all across the country joined me to call for Universal Pet Health Care, Affordable Doggie Day Care, and distribution of Bologna Stamps, all to be paid for by a big tax on the Fat Cats.

Yesterday, from the time my daddy left until the time my mommy came home, I exercised complete inaction, not helping humans in any way, not even posting to my blog, which I understand many humans derive great benefit from.  I got many e-mails from around the country that guard dogs refused to guard, attack dogs refused to attack, watch dogs refused to watch, sniffer dogs refused to sniff, retriever dogs refused to retrieve and ALL dogs refused to wag their tails.  The poor humans were near helpless without us.  A special nod goes out to Bo Obama who refused to give face licks to Sasha and Malia.  That will sure get the president's attention.

Just one quick example of the plight of us poor dogs.  You know, I'd love to go to doggie day care.  It would be great for my cognitive development and make me a much more productive canine citizen.  I begged my daddy, but he told me it was too expensive; that one day of doggie day care costs more than two weeks of even high-end dog food like Grammy's Pot Pie.  Where is our government?  Why aren't they helping us with subsidies?  Well, our fight is just starting.  If things don't happen soon, we will be having Nation-wide Canine Days of Inaction more and more often.

Friday, December 2, 2011


I couldn’t help but notice this heartwarming tail of puppies doing what comes naturally, helping humans, in this case, law students.

“For high-strung law students, dogs . . . can also provide a soothing presence . . . At George Mason’s law school, which has more than 700 students, dozens took a break Thursday from their immersion in contracts, torts, criminal law and the like and gathered for more than two hours in the school’s atrium to play with the puppies.”

And we love helping our human friends and we do it in so many ways.  That’s why it is so inconceivable to me how our cries for justice go unheeded by the human leaders.  Where is there progress on the Universal Pet Health Care bill?  Or Affordable Doggie Day Care?  Or Bologna Stamps for dogs whose owners cannot afford to buy them tasty human snacks?  We’ve been demanding these measures for too long now and have barely made a RUFF in protest, all the while continuing to work. 

Since our woofing hasn’t helped, we will need to step up methods.  That’s why I am calling for a nation-wide Canine Day of Inaction.  On December 7, there will be no cuddling with law students, no therapy dogs in hospital, no fetching, no bomb sniffing, no drug sniffing, no guiding the blind, and definitely NO TAIL WAGS!  We'll just how well the human population prospers without us.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Capital Punishment -- Warranted?

Those who know me can attest that I'm a friendly, peaceful cockapoo, and not a dog who seeks vengeance.  I like to lead a gentle life and try to think well of others.  But then I read this news article:

Barrington Panel Votes to Euthanize 'Vicious' East Providence Dog

Barrington police held a vicious-dog hearing Monday morning after a boxer/pitbull [diverse-breed dog] registered to an East Providence owner maimed a cockapoo and its owner last July. . .

The attack on the cockapoo . . . came within four doors of her home . . . Smith said she was walking her 11-year-old dog,  . . . when the boxer/pitbull jumped through the open window of an SUV and attacked them. . . .The boxer jumped and snapped at them and managed to bite into the cockapoo’s legs and pull them to the ground.
The boxer pulled so hard that the cockapoo’s legs were pulled out of the hip joints and the bite marks penetrated to the bone.
I'm glad they caught this dog and put him in jail where he belongs -- pictured above in his cell.  The description of the attack is so awful that I am rethinking my position on capital punishment.  I support it for animals like this.  What do you think?

Do you think they give him a 'last meal' before execution, with any food he wants?  Hmm.


Monday, October 31, 2011

Fun new game

Anyone who knows me knows I'm the kind of doggie who likes to play games, all sorts, like ghost doggie, hide and go sniff, ruff bowling, and chase me.  Now we have this new game my daddy and I like to play:  Crate Carnage.  See, the idea is for daddy to put me in my crate for a specified period and I get to sack the crate and anything I can get my paws on.  WOW, what a workout and I've been doing so good that daddy has been giving me a lot of turkey.  There is one downside to the game.  While in my crate, I am unable to blog, which is why you heard so little from me over the past couple of weeks.

At first I wasn't familiar with the game and just started slow, like dragging a towel, which was conveniently placed on top of the crate, inside and shredding it.  But then daddy made the game harder and didn't leave any towels on top.  It wasn't much fun until I got my paws onto that rug under the crate and pulled and pulled until I dragged it in through the bars and went all cockapoo on it.  That was quite a feat, let me tell you, because all my 20 pounds of force were exerted onto the rug.  Daddy didn't think I could do it, but he was so impressed by me that he took photos.  You can see one below.

Well, daddy keeps trying to challenge me.  "Meliora" he says to me, which translates to "Ever higher" and I was up to the challenge.  He took away towels on top of the crate and rugs under the crate.  I had to use all my brain power to think of some way to win the game.  And there it was, under my paws all this time:  the crate pan, itself.  You can see below how well I played the game, and all in only one day!

I want to play some more, but here they went and did it and left me out of my crate today.  Maybe tomorrow.

Friday, October 14, 2011

MLK Memorial Dedication

Gosh, I've received hundreds of email relating to my last post about the new MLK memorial.  My blog broke the story about its opening and as you saw, I didn't post a photo of it then.  So it turns out thousands of people now want to rush down there this weekend to see it.  Hey, if you just want to see what it looks like, I posted a photo of it here, so you don't need to brave the crowd.

As you can see, it's a real nice statue.  And there I am, posing in front of it.  As I mentioned before, inexplicably 'pets' are forbidden entry and I only got in because the guard recognized me and all.  I'll be fighting real hard over the coming months and years to secure the right of everyone, black dogs, and white dogs, and all shades in between, to have free and open access to this memorial.  We should never be satisfied as long as dogs are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating "No Pets".

I'll be down there this weekend, mixing with the crowd.  But I want to keep the focus squarely on Martin, so please . . . I'll be signing pawtographs, but just for the kids and puppies.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Occupy DC!

What a thrilling day in downtown DC, joining a lot of like-minded people who are fed up with the way things are going for the poor people and dogs in this country.  I pleaded with my daddy to take me because I want my RUFF to be heard for all the causes I believe in.  I don't think my daddy completely agrees with me on my politics.  But he is a good daddy and took me anyway even though he said they were just a bunch of airheaded morons.  He was wrong about that because these were very smart people.  I made these new friends you can see in the picture.  They agreed with everything I supported, like Affordable Doggie Day Care and Universal Pet Healthcare (which goes by the new moniker 'Peticare').

The movement is really gaining steam and I hope to be out there protesting a lot more in the coming months!

Friday, September 16, 2011

What would Martin say?

At long last!  A memorial to one of my heroes, Martin Luther King.  Martin and I have been notable champions for the down-trodden, African- and Canine-Americans, respectively.  And we are both very non-violent.  Well you can imagine my excitement when Daddy told me his new memorial has opened and he was going to take me sight-peeing!  But anticipation turned to bitter irony when I was confronted with the dreaded sign (see accompanying photo). No, no, I don't mean the part about the 'no food or drink.'  I may like my food, but I can go for a while without it.  I'm referring to the line about 'NO pets.'  Isn't this EXACTLY the kind of cruel exclusion that Martin fought so hard against down in the south?  Too bad Martin's not with us anymore to correct the evil wrongs of society (yes, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I did check, and in fact someone gunned him down).  It's an outrage that those who built the exhibit only wanted to feel important and never truly grasped Martin's teachings.

I really was disappointed.  I went to so much trouble to get my fur cut for the occasion.  Look, you can see I still have my bandana on.  But then the head guard recognized me and all.  He said he read my blog and was a big admirer.  So he said he would make this one exception and let me in.  I guess that was OK for what was worth, but what about all the other dogs who want to see the exhibit?  What about their rights?  It looks like it is up to me to carry on Martin's work.

In the end, I did see it and it was real good and if I find the time I'll blog more about it later.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Happy Birthday to My Two-Legged Grandma

It's September 6 and I want to give a woof-out to my two-legged grandma, who, if my floppy ears didn't deceive me, is 84 years old today, according to my daddy.  You read that right:  84 years!

I know what you're going to say, that seems impossible, right?  I mean, here we cockapoos are struggling to make it to 15 or 20 years.  And many of your mono-breeds can't make it much past 10.  And here's my two-legged grandma at 84.  But it's right.  You see, the two-legged ones live a lot longer.  I don't know how they do it, maybe it has something to do with Einstein's theories or maybe it's because they aren't forced to eat dog food all their lives.  But there you have it.

Well anyhow, happy birthday grandma.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The saddest little cockapoo

I sure had a great time the past few months, with my brother and sister at home.  Then on Sunday, we went for a long bye-bye and my sister played with me the whole time and we got to a building and she greeted her friends, and they were laughing and screaming, which is when she stopped paying attention to me :-( 

Then she pat me on the head, said 'good-bye' and that's the last I saw of her.  Now I'm all alone during the day.  I even had to sneak downstairs to use the computer (shhh, don't tell my mommy, she thinks I'm locked in the bathroom).  Maybe it's time for me to leave and catch up with my woof-mom.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

One of My Heroes

Here I am posing with Ghandi, one of my all-time heroes.  This Ghandi guy was a lot like me; he didn't want to play ruff.  See, he didn't like to fight but he called it 'non-violent'.  Well, I can dig that, cause I'm 'non-violent' too.  Like when I'm at the dog park, I like to sit under the bench and watch all the other dogs when they get into their ruff stuff.

So this Ghandi was really something, but even though he and I are alike in so many ways, you gotta admit that he was a little dumber than me.  Like for instance, if I saw a tough-looking British bull-dog on the street, I would pull to the other side and hope he didn't notice me.  But when Ghandi saw a tough-looking British cop, he wouldn't cross to the other side, but would just stand there and let the cop beat him up.  How smart is that?

Well the British treated him so bad that that he didn't get enough food.  Look at how skinny he is.  And he didn't get the right vet care and had to walk with that cane.  Real sad.  But this where it gets good.  He made himself so pathetic that the British felt sorry for him and decided to leave him, and even his whole country, alone and they decided to leave.  So in the end, Ghandi, even though he wasn't too bright, did a great thing and now we have a country called 'India'.  And they even built this statue of him and put it in the middle of Washington and I got to visit on a sight-peeing walk and got this cool picture taken.  The only downside to the day was, even though I was 'sight-peeing', daddy wouldn't let me mark my territory here.

Friday, June 10, 2011

First they came for the Rottweilers . . .

Despite all my efforts and the growing awareness of the canine rights crowd, canine profiling is still a serious threat.

Can you believe it?  In this country, a country with firm protections for the humans, can allow good dogs be presumed guilty just because of their breed.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Why I am suing Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman

On Tuesday I filed a lawsuit against the Ma-Su Valley Frontiersman, a tabloid paper that published false and reckless charges about me in May of 2011.

This is what they wrote:
So please, do yourself and your neighbors a favor and keep Fido under control. It’s the law. And even if Fido is a Pomeranian — all dogs are capable of biting.”

The reporters at the Frontiersman follow my blog and are well aware of my kind and gentle nature, yet went ahead and published their implicit slanderous claim about me.  Quite plainly, in spite of their statements, it is well known that I have never and will never bite.   Frankly, I am afraid of small kids and only wag and jump in the presence of adults humans.  I don’t even bite dogs, not even Jackie who deserved it after she assaulted me.  On my walks, I pull to cross to the other side of the street when I see Thing1 and Thing2.  And at the dog park, I like to hide under the bench when the other dogs want to play ruff.

Because I am a high-profile blogger in the canine world, I expect to receive a lot of criticism.  I am not thin-skinned about personal criticism. I consider myself very fortunate to be a cockapoo in America. Criticism comes with the territory and I respect it. I have never sued people who publish critical opinions of me, nor have I previously sued any news organization.  But I also hope that people understand why sometimes, especially in the age of the Internet, when an unretracted lie can live forever, you have to draw the line. I honor vigorous free expression in the media. But even a public cockapoo can sue for defamation when a tabloid paper publishes a harmful assertion of a fact, not an opinion, that it knows to be false or recklessly disregards the truth.

Let’s be clear what this lawsuit is not about. It is not about money. I have already publicly committed to donate any financial damages I win to help homeless diverse breed dogs. Nor did I or any of my representatives ask for the tabloid writer to be fired, despite published reports to the contrary.

Simply put, this lawsuit is about the truth — and the need to correct the record.  I will gladly withdraw my complaint if they publish a simple retraction (and a purge of the condescending moniker ‘Fido’).  I would be quite content if they rephrased it to read “Even for dogs diminutive in stature – it’s possible that the dog is capable of biting unless the dog is a small furry cockapoo with floppy ears and a short stubby tail who answers by the name of Tommy, in which case just feed him some bologna and he will wag his tail.”

Monday, May 9, 2011

"Companion Animals"

It's very encouraging to see that my blogging has had such an impact on canine rights. This is but one sign that things are starting to change.

"Companion Animals" yes --- "Pets" no

Professor Andrew Linzey of the prestigious Animal Ethics Center at Oxford has followed my blog for years. Now he is calling for big changes in the way we view and refer to animals. He advocates an end of the use of the offensive word "pets." After all, what does it mean to be a "pet." It sounds a little perverted, if you ask me, and all us animals don't like it.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Donald Trump for Human President?

I'm starting to look at the possible candidates and one of my early favorites is Donald Trump. He purportedly likes dogs and even has one of his own, who looks a lot like him. And Trump is big with the Pee Party. And he doesn't like that dog-hating Obama.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Monty the Yale Law Dog

Here's Monty, whose doing everything he can to help kids get smart.

Monty the Yale Law Dog

This is a real good experiment and it should work. See, Yale students who are having trouble with your school work, you can go to the library and check out Monty who will give them all the answers. Makes more sense than checking out a book.

Makes you wonder, doesn't it? All these government programs on how to get kids to do well in schools when the answer is as obvious as the wag of my tail. You could eliminate all the rest of the federal government spending on education and just give each student his own dog, preferably one with floppy ears, who are known to be smarter.

These are the kind of policy proposals I'll be listening for in the upcoming 2012 presidential election.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Wishing for the Best in Japan

Truly tragic what happened in Japan. So many people and dog houses damaged, destroyed, or just washed away. No one is wishing for a swift recovery more than this little cockapoo. But I saw this photo on the web and felt I had to comment. The environment and air is bad, no doubt. And the people need to have on the masks. But what about the poor animals; they need the mask too, maybe even more because our lives are very short as it is. Don't forget about us!

Monday, February 28, 2011

When Man's Best Friend Is Obese

Anyone who knows me knows I love my food, like steak and hamburger and bologna and ice cream and chicken and turkey and cheese and Grammy's Pot Pie from the can. But I always make sure to eat sensibly and not beg for too much. That's why I took note when I read this article in the Wall Street Journal. Obesity in dogs is a major problem and costs this country in excess of $17 trillion per year, according to a recent study by the Canine Institute.

That's why I support a national canine nutrition bill to enact new standards for dog food nutrition, allocate federal funds to subsidize healthy pet living (like treadmills, for instance), and levy still penalties for owners who overfeed their dogs. Please join me in my crusade.

Peace out,

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Lament for a Missed Opportunity

So, so sad. It has long been one of my ambitions to relieve myself on this beautiful tree: the National Christmas Tree on the Ellipse. But look what happened during a recent wind storm.

Winds Topple National Christmas Tree

I've visited that tree a few times and always pulled to go do a 'sniff-n-lift'. But daddy would say it was too crowded and promised we would come back at a quieter time. Alas, that time never came. They say they'll plant a new one, but it might take a human generation before it reaches the majestic heights of this once regal monument.

So long, old friend.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Grizz - Victim of Unjust Law

Here's a picture of Grizz. He looks mean, I'll grant you that, and I wouldn't want to sniff with him if I encountered him on a walk or at the dog park. But he's no criminal, despite the charges that were filed.

You can read about it here:

"Man faces misdemeanor charge of animal cruelty"

All Grizz did, like any dog would do in a similar circumstance, was euthanize a raccoon who had been bothering his master. Dogs have the right to do that, to chase lower forms of animal and do what they wish if skillful enough to catch one. Take me, for instance. My daddy sends me out all the time to chase the squirrels around my back yard. I never catch one . . . but if I did . . . well . . . I don't know what I'd do, but I know no law is going to stop me from going all cockapoo on him.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Are you ready for some football?

I know I'll be watching:

Puppy Bowl VII

The biggest event on all fours is back! Puppy Bowl returns for its seventh consecutive year with an all-star, all-adorable cast that's ready to mix it up on the grand gridiron of Animal Planet Stadium. Puppy Bowl VII brings viewers a loveable lineup that's itching to play in a winning combination of terrier tackles, touchdowns, puppy penalties, fumbles and Fido first downs. Featuring fan favorites like the Water Bowl Cam, tail-gating fans, and the Ice Breakers blimp and its hamster crew, this year's big game is sure to be a tail-wagger. For the first time ever, viewers can watch the action from the puppy's point-of-view with the new Puppy Cam. And be on the lookout for the "chicks" on the sidelines with the addition of chicken cheerleaders. Also, don't miss the debut of the Kiss Cam, which is sure to keep the crowd on its feet. From barking beagles and spunky spaniels to everything in between, we've got the cutest players taking the field on the most action-packed Sunday of the year. Plus, back for another year is the popular Bissel Kitten Halftime Show, guaranteed to bring the house down! And, for the first time in Puppy Bowl history, all the action will broadcast in a stunning native 3-D version that will premiere on "3net" — the new 3-D network joint venture of Discovery Communications, Sony and IMAX in 2011.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Militant Threat

This was a terrible tragedy. Read about it here:

Mt. Vernon Man Hospitalized after Brutal Dog Attack

I want to be very clear that I condemn this violent, militant attack. Unfortunately, this fringe group, Woof-Qaeda, has hijacked the law-abiding canine rights movement to justify their own brutal and criminal behavior.

On the other hand, our government must, on some level, be held partly responsible. Their repressive policies -- requiring us to wear tags, preventing us from so many public facilities, and stringent leash laws, to name a few -- are the best recruiting tools in Woof-Qaeda's arsenal. You just know that Woof-Qaeda is out there planning more attacks. We need change now!

Monday, January 3, 2011

No jackets, please

I've addressed this topic before, but with the cold weather upon us, it is worth stressing again.

Here, this article explains it all: link

You can see how the other dogs are going to laugh at and make fun of me if I wear that thing. And it makes me too hot, with all my fur and all. But read the article carefully. It does make an excellent suggestion:

There are a few other steps pet owners can take to winterize their dogs. During fall and winter, adding one or two pounds of body weight can help.

Yep, that's right. That's what I need: more food, especially food to fatten me up, like hamburger and hot dog, not silly looking jackets.