Friday, December 23, 2011

Newt Gingrich for President

Many dogs have been waiting, some even patiently, for me to throw my weight behind one of the candidates running for president.  While some have believed I've been inattentive to the enormous issues facing our community, I can assure you I've been carefully following the candidates, the debates, and the issues.  We all know that institutional bigotry prevents me and other of my species from running, but that does not negate the enormous challenges facing our country.

It is only after long and careful deliberation that I announce my endorsement of Newt Gingrich.  He has publicly stated that puppies will play a big role in his campaign moving forward:

The campaign said today that it will soon launch a “Pets With Newt”  site aimed at Gingrich’s love for animals . . .
[H]e told ABC News today he and his wife Callista want a dog in the White House, and it’s a friendly disagreement between the couple over what kind and size of dog. Callista wants a small dog and Newt wants a large dog . . .
“When I was a child I had a cocker spaniel and Doberman pincher and German Sheppard. . . ” Gingrich said.
[It's hard not to like a man like that.  I wonder if his cocker spaniel was related to my mom, Cherokee?]

Newt, along with all the other candidates, has yet to make his positions known on Universal Pet Health Care, Affordable Doggie Day Care, and Canine Voting Rights.  But he is obviously a man of character and deserves our support for lack of a true doggist candidate.


Anonymous said...

Based on his history, however, Newt will dump his dog the instant it gets sick and replace it with a new one he secretly has been playing fetch with for years. How can any dog feel secure in its future with Newt?

Newt said...

You don't have much sway after all. I'm out here in Iowa and not a single dog has stepped forward to help me.


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