Tuesday, April 28, 2009

A Tail of Two Outfielders

I sure dislike being in the middle of a family controversy like this. But I do like baseball, so here goes:

My daddy likes this outfielder, named Manny Rameriz. Manny has 536 homers, a career average of .315, a career OBP of .411, two world championships and is 36 years old.

My brother likes this outfielder whose name is Andruw. Andruw Jones has 373 homers, a career average of .260, unfortunately has never won the world championship and is, well, no one but Andruw and maybe his mother know how old Andruw really is.

I hate to say this, but sorry, big brother. I gotta go with my daddy on this one. I like Manny too.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I'm not bitter, really

Photo of Bo Obama

When I first heard the news that the Obamas got a Portuguese Water Dog, I was shocked, it was like a dagger to my anal glands. After all, President Obama promised me he would get his daughters a small, furry cockapoo, with floppy ears and a short stubby tail (see my last blog entry). Obama does not seem like the sort of president to go back on his word. And we all know how badly Sasha wanted the cockapoo. Fortunately Sasha wrote me an e-mail to explain the whole thing:


You should know that daddy wanted to get the cockapoo. But then Uncle Teddy showed up at our door with this porty and forced us to take it. I didn't want it, but daddy said it would not be nice to refuse a gift from such a big man. I don't like the dog, but my bratty sister does. I hope you are not mad. Love Sasha.

In all honesty, Bo is a good looking dog . . . for a porty, that is. As disappointed as I was, I've been following the Bo story closely. Here, I found this good article:


It does seem like Sasha doesn't like the dog so much. While Malia was giving hugs, Sasha could find nothing nice to say, and merely uttered: "He doesn't know how to swim!" .

As can be expected, Bo is exploring his new digs: Bo led the way, jumping and sprinting, with Michelle Obama firmly gripping the leash. Apparently, the White House lawn has many irresistible scents. The little guy found much to sniff . . .

Bo, let me offer some advice. I've been down there. There isn't too much to sniff. It's a very sterile environment, no other dogs around, so no dog urine or any other such alluring fragrances.

And did you notice that President Obama is still the dog hater: He will not, and the president left no doubt about this, be bedding down in the presidential bedroom. Asked where Bo would sleep, Obama replied, "Not with me."

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I Will Survive

Sad dog

These famous words from the old disco song have real meaning for me right now. My nice family has given me away to another family. They just dumped me off with barely a good bye. My big sister didn't even come with me to wish me farewell. But it's OK here. I will survive. Tami, the new lady, treats me well. She feeds me and gives me my Kong with chicken and lets me sleep on the bed and all. So I'm not mistreated. And there are dogs to play with here, especially Mini. I'm a little scared of her, but not nearly as scared as I am of the shelties, but they mostly ignore me. I've grown quite fond of Bubba, the Beagle; we've become quite close. And I even have the opportunity to go on the computer, so I intend to continue blogging, for sure. But I miss my old family. Why did you give me away?

On an unrelated note, my pick of North Carolina in the NCAA tournament and subsequent recommendation to President Obama earned a glowing e-mail from the human Commander in Chief, a portion of which I copied below:
Dear Tommy,
I can't thank you enough for recommending the Tar Heels to me. Your pick enabled me to win our household pool. Sasha scored higher than I did, but picked Oklahoma to emerge as the champion. That was my opening, and North Carolina's win sealed victory for me. I can't tell you what a ride it's been for me. First the White House, now this! I should tell you that we all agreed that the winner of the pool has the right to select the breed of the new family dog (of course provided it can be rescued from a shelter). In honor of you, I will select the cockapoo . . .
President Barack Obama