Thursday, January 26, 2012

Dogs help Newt capture SC

Gosh, I've been napping so much I forgot to check the results from South Carolina.  And I woke up to learn that Newt won a smashing victory in South Carolina.  I know he is a great man and I am just a small [furry] cockapoo [with sloppy ears and a short stubby tail].  But I hope that in some small way, my support helped mobilize large segments of the Canine-American community.

Romney's past record with Seamus is really 'dogging' him.  Now it's on to Florida, where I expect Newt to go real well.


Newt said...

I'm quite pleased about how warmly Callista and I have been received by the dogs in Florida and know it wouldn't be so without help and support you've provided.

I know you supported Hillary during the last election, but maybe you will be surprised to learn that she and I have at least one thing in common: there is zero degrees of separation between us and our canine friends. I know she as much as offered you the important post of Undersecetary for Canine Affairs. Unfortunately, she never had the opportunity to fulfill that promise because she was bested by that dog-hating Obama. I find it a disgrace to this country that after three years in office, that post remains unfilled. So let me resurrect the promise from 4 years ago . . . I will be pleased to appoint you as US Undersecretary for Canine Affairs. And with your help I can fulfill the promise that under a Gingrich administration, ALL Canine Americans, mono and diverse, will have proper homes if they want one!

Nancy Pelosi said...

Let me just say this. It's not going to happen. Tommy the Cockapoo is not going to be Undersecretary for Canine Affairs. Let's just say there is something I know about Tommy. I'll leave it at that for now.

Tommy said...

Oh gosh, this is bad. I never imagined Nancy Pelosi knew. They say that the best way to handle a scandel is to get out in front of it and make a full and honest confession before it blows out of proportion. So here goes.

I've always tried to be a good boy, wag my tail a lot and do what my mommy and daddy say. That being said, I'm not perfect. What cockapoo among us is? But it is true . . . one time I did stray. When I was still a puppy, daddy grilled some juicy burgers and put the plate on the table close to the edge. It really smelled good and I put my front paws up on the chair and sniffed them and licked them. Daddy yelled at me good and I learned my lesson and I thought that would be the end of it. I never dreamed he would go and tell Nancy Pelosi. Now I may never get to be Undersecretary for Canine Affairs.