Monday, November 17, 2008

Open Letter for President-Elect Obama

Dear President-Elect Obama,

As you know, I was a supporter of your candidacy, albeit a soft one:
However, I have two suggestions on important matters, which if you follow will turn my support to rock solid .

First, the breed of dog for your kids, perhaps the most pressing issue of our time. You promised in your campaign to change the tone of Washington. After of eight years of Barney as the poster dog for the Republican Attack Machine, who would bite any reporter he disagrees with, it is time for a kinder and gentler White House dog. My advice to you is: go with the cocakpoo. In all modesty, I've been told repeatedly that I have the classic cockapoo looks and I've highlighted the features in the attached photo: small, furry, with floppy ears and a short stubby tail (just click on the photo to get a better look where I've labeled each). And our fur doesn't shed, so Malia will not be achooing all the time - our fur stays very well contained on our bodies until that lady comes at us with her butchering scissors. And we are very gentle and incapable of hurting anyone so Sasha will not have to worry that one might bite her, even if she pulls our tail or hugs us too hard. Let me be perfectly clear, I'm not applying for the position myself. I like downtown DC and all, especially for sight peeing, but I'd be too scared at the White House and have all those strange people around all the time. I'm very happy here in McLean in this nice home and am quite content with my Kong snacks. But if you want one just like me, just go ahead and contact Autumn View Farm. They can set Cody and Cherokee on the job and because you will soon be president and all, you may even get the pick of the litter, even though they are probably Republican-leaning (just a guess here as I rarely discussed politics when I was down there).

Second, Hillary for Secetary of State. She will help repair and soften America's relationship with dogs all over the world.


big brother said...

Dear little Tommy,
That is an utterly biased opinion, that you think Obama should get a cockapoo. In these tough and unsure times, it is important for America to give off a strong, powerful image of itself, to ensure that it stays the number one country in the world. The White House dog is a very prestigious position, and the image this dog gives off is seen throughout the world as a representation of the entire country. Getting to the point, cockapoos are scared, squauky, whimpering, and overall babiesh dogs. Not really a good impression that the world needs of the US right now.

BB (big brother) said...

and your tail isn't as stubby as you think. You think too highly of yourself.

Tommy said...

So you think the Obamas should get an American Pit Bull. That is a good idea I had not thought of. But you can bet I wouldn't want to sight-pee around the White House with that pit bull patroling the grounds.

Fala XiX said...

Your latest drivel proves how unqualified cockapoos are for the White House. What part of SHELTER DOG are you too stupid to understand. And where's my beef?

Tommy said...

Fala xix,

I imagine you've noticed that President-elect Obama has already changed a number of his positions when convenient, so makes you so sure he will really get a shelter dog? Now I try to not be cynical, but five gets you ten that the new White House puppy won't be attending DC public puppy school, but rather some fancy private puppy school.

As far as beef goes, I don't get very much, but would be happy to share what I have with you. Just stop by some day when my parents are away. With your help, I may be able to pry open the refrigerator. Then we are home free; I know where they keep the bologna.

Fala XIX said...

I would not be caught dead in Virginia.