Sunday, October 21, 2007

Sodomy on a Saturday Morning

Yesterday seemed an ordinary Saturday morning. We slept in late, I got a nice walk around the neighborhood. Then my daddy got me all excited, yelling 'bye-bye, bye-bye'. Cool, I thought, let's do it.

Off we went and I thought we would go on a nice hike or something. But no, we arrive at my doctor's office. There were a lot of nice dogs around and I enjoyed sniffing them. Then, it's my turn to go into 'the Room.' The next thing you know, this lady pulls out 'the Stick' - you know the one I'm talking about. She starts to chase me around the room, and I said 'NO', well, at least as best as a dog can. I put my tail firmly between my legs and crawled under the chair my mom was sitting in. In dog language, that clearly means 'I don't wanna.' But then the lady comes at me with an evil grin, yanks me out from under the chair, and proceeds to sodomize me. Why doesn't she understand that 'NO' means 'NO'?

Well, this sort of thing goes on all the time to us dogs, as the world stands by and does nothing. How come in the human world, it's a major crime, a front page story, and it happens to us cockapoos and everyone thinks it's ha-ha, funny? Like that poor human in New York City a few years ago - you know, Abner Louima


He's the guy who was brutalized by the NYC cops. That's a big deal, a major scandal for then mayor Rudy Guiliani (who incidentally is currently running for human president). Well, this Abner fellow ends up receiving $10 million in a lawsuit. What do I get? KIBBLES. It's time to take a stand everyone. This shouldn't be happening to dogs, not in the 21st century.

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